Poor Connor. It is hard sometimes being the younger brother. Jamie is, of course, the most fascinating, funny, inimitable character in the world and endlessly more interesting than Sarah or I. Connor wants to be with Jamie and do what he does all the time. Very often this works out well because Jamie is forever in search of a partner in crime and Connor is all too happy to be co-opted. The problem is that if another partner presents his or herself to Jamie, Connor is frequently jettisoned.
Last weekend a family that lives down the street came over for dinner. They have a 5-year-old boy, who is great friends with Jamie, and a 2-year-old girl who is just heavenly. Every time we see them, which is not infrequntly, we are rewarded for our decision to move. Anyway, Connor couldn't care less about the little girl, of course, and just wants to play with the big boys. At best, he has trouble physically keeping up with them and at worst the game becomes getting away from, or otherwise torturing, Connor. On this night in question Jamie's friend got really into playing with Legos, which Jamie didn't want to do, so that made him sad. Connor meanwhile, just wanted to play with Jamie, who had no interest in him. We were in the other room when we heard Connor start to wail. We went in (not quite rushed in, I'm afraid, because in these post-pacifier days this happens often enough not to be alarming). I found him on the couch absolutely inconsolable. I asked what was wrong and it took a good 30 seconds for him to calm down enough to blurt out: "Jamie doesn't want to be WIFF me!!!!" before dissolving again. Poor little fellow. I offered myself, Sarah, our friends, the Obamas, and double chocolate brownies all as substitutes. None would do.
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Perhaps since Connor is facing relegation, he'd be interested in a transfer to a team where he could have more of a leadership role. To avoid tampering charges we're contacting you first. Offer is 3 million pounds. Frederick United
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