PC at the zoo?

Jamie takes rules very seriously and is also driven by a profound sense of wanting to do the right thing. He's also very alert to language. So lately we've been talking a lot about diversity and he's also picked up on some political issues like gay marriage. He announced the other day that one of his friends said that "gay" was when two boys or two girls loved each other and that his Dad had a friend that was gay. We said yes, that's one of the many kinds of families that there could be and that we also had lots of friends who were gay. He was non-plussed by all of this, just wanted to be sure he had it right.

We've also talked about using the phrase "African-American" rather than black and some of the reasons for that. Then yesterday night Connor was describing some of the animals he and Sarah had seen at the zoo and mentioned having seen a regular leopard and a black leopard. Jamie jumped in to correct: "African-American leopard, Connor." There was much hilarity.

Zoo days

Connor has been home sick from school this week. Nothing serious, just the usual Connor virus, usually lasts 3-4 or days so we should be out of it soon. It's terrible seeing the little guy unwell and not his usual chipper self. Sarah took him to the doctor's yesterday and he was extremely specific about his symptoms. Exactly where and when his neck hurts; how one ear hurts when he talks and the other hurts when he swallows; he even described the kind of crazy dreams you get with a fever. The nurse dutifully took it all down.

The good part about it though is that spending a day with Connor is really pleasant. On Monday we went to the zoo in the morning. He was moving pretty slowly, so we didn't see too much. We went to the reptile house, which can take a while because he insists on seeing and finding every snake, tree frog, and lizard on display. Then he came and sat in my office while I taught nearby. I had given him all manner of electronics to keep him occupied, but when I came back he was dutifully coloring a wonderfully elaborate underwater scene.

Inspired by the Wild Kratts, Connor was talking the next day about wanting to see a Giant Pacific Octopus in the wild. Sarah gently said this would be tough for a variety of reasons. When they went to the zoo on Tuesday they visited the small aquarium there. Suddenly Connor exclaimed, "Look Mommy!" and there, lo and behold, was a Giant Pacific Octopus. There was much excitement.

One other funny thing about this picture. Before they went, Sarah asked Connor to get dressed and he emerged wearing this Brooklyn T-shirt that Suzanne gave to Jamie a few years ago. He said with great seriousness that he needed some grey shorts. Sarah said why and he replied that he needed it to go with the shirt. He was also excited to wear his Brooklyn hat (also from Suzanne!) because it is blue and would match the collar of the shirt. Sarah supported this planning but pointed out that in fashion it can be best to not be too matchy. Connor seemed interested in this nuance, we'll see how it affects his choices.

Watch out fishies!

So we took the boys fishing for the first time this weekend. They had asked about it periodically before but had never seemed to intent. Connor, however, really decided he wanted to go suddenly, spurred, inevitably, by an episode of the Wild Kratts, his favorite nature show. Jamie was lukewarm about the idea until I went to get them fishing poles, at which point he became very enthusiastic. We went outside and practiced casting in the front yard. They both did really astonishingly well, so off we went the next day.

The first thing we discovered was that the fish were not interested in anything but live bait. This was awkward because Connor is extremely sensitive to wildlife and didn't like the idea of using worms (there's a Wild Kratts episode about worms too!). Eventually we settled on the procedure of cutting the worms in half and letting one half go free and moved on, though Connor was still a little uncertain. The next issue, however, was that the fish turned out to be rather savvy. The water was clear and some of the fish were very close so we could watch them expertly nibble away the worm without getting hooked. Jamie had a couple of the line for a moment but they got away.

Nonetheless, they loved it and Jamie announced immediately that he wants to do it this coming weekend and every weekend, so I call it a success.

Feelings, woh-oh-oh feelings

Children are complex little creatures, there's no doubt about it. One spends a lot of time when they are babies trying to figure out what exactly they want and really that doesn't necessarily change as they get older. Their needs get more complex so they don't always develop the ability to voice this complexity. Freud and the dynamic subconscious and all. Sometimes, however, they are able to say exactly what they are feeling with surprising directness. I am inclined to repeat Jamie's question to Sarah as a three-year-old: "Mommy, when Daddy is old and tired will you marry someone else...like me??"

Along those lines, Connor had a moment of clarity not too long ago when our friend Suzanne and her baby, Daphne, visited. Sarah was very consciously trying to make sure she paid attention to the boys while cooing over Daphne and helping Suzanne. Even so, at some point Connor announced matter-of-factly: "Mommy, when you are holding baby Daphne it makes me feel like you don't love me." Way to share those feelings Connor!

School of Rock

I've mentioned before the boys' pleasure at the AC/DC song "TNT." I tried to build on this a little this summer while we going to baseball. Energy was flagging a little on the way to the game and another AC/DC song came on so I tried to get him a little psyched up with it. He was non-plussed.

A few days later though I was in the car with both boys and "Back in Black" came on and Jamie immediately identified it as AC/DC. Right after that a Led Zeppelin song came on, "Rock'n'Roll" I think it was. I asked Jamie how it compared to AC/DC and he replied, "It's a little less loud and a little less rock star-ish." Pretty much right on I think.

Zoo day

Yesterday was just a sort of randomly really good day. We didn't have things totally planned out but by the end of the day Connor exclaimed, "Today was the best day ever!" Jamie wasn't really willing to go that far, but he also didn't argue.

It started with Jamie going to a cello workshop in the morning.  It was a very fun, interactive teacher and Jamie really actually seems to enjoy playing cello. He also got a little more interested in terms like "Forte" and "Pianissimo" when he realized that they were Italian in origin.

When we got back it was decided that we would go to the zoo with some friends. Jamie has been a little anti-zoo for the last few...well, years really now that I think about. Why that is I don't know. Connor, however, you can well imagine loves it. As he is fond of saying sometimes, "You just don't know how much I love animals." They've got a new dinosaur exhibit at the zoo, which was a winner even with Jamie. One of them squirted water at the boys and while it is no longer so excruciatingly hot here, it's warm enough to make it feel pretty good and the boys just squealed every time they got sprayed.

They've also just put a new water park in at the zoo so we headed there next where the boys got really soaked. While the big boys were there I broke off with Connor to ride the carousel and he took this wonderful unaffected delight in the experience. He is very very into cheetahs these days so he joy at riding the cheetah on the carousel was unbounded. Then as we were coming home two pleasing things happened. First it began to rain rather hard, so we all got wet yet again, and we announced that they could play video games when we got home. Both of the boys have sort of adopted my fondness for rainy days so it was at this point that Connor made his announcement. 

After the rain and the video games stopped we managed to get them to work in the yard. It's a delicate thing getting them outside. It needs to be packaged the right way, but once they get into they can be very happy. In this case, Sarah motivated Jamie to do some cleaning up out there as a part of his chores for his allowance. He started sweeping up leaves and putting them into the compost and managed to keep that up for a sold 30-40 minutes. So all in all a very routine, very fun Saturday.

The trouble with history

We went to San Antonio and Austin this week and had a great visit with family. We took the boys to the Alamo, which they enjoyed. Jamie was of course fascinated by the weapons on display and we spent some time discussing the difference between muskets and rifles. We also learned how complex it can get in trying to share history with kids. As they walked around Connor asked Sarah what one of the signs said. She told him it was about the missions in San Antonio. Things began to get tough quickly from there:

Connor: What's a mission?

Mommy: A mission is a place the Spanish built to get the local people to worship a certain way.

C: What's worship?

M: It's how people practice their religion.

C: What's religion?

At that point I think Sarah cleverly diverted the conversation before the inevitable "What's God?" came. Either that or one of the other boys came over to engage in a sword fight, which is what they did for most of the rest of the weekend. Phew.