Confusing advice

So, on the topic of Jamie being brave, from the previous post, I thought I would also add that he has a lot to figure out with sports and advice from his parents. As with baseball, he spent the Fall playing on a soccer team that had to play a lot of older kids and it was rough at times but Jamie kept his head up and plugged away.

At halftime of one game he reported to me that one of the kids on the other team had been talking some trash. So I asked what he had done and he said he gave it right back to the kid. "Good," I said, feeling pleased at his spunk, "we don't start that stuff, but we also don't back down."

Later he reported this to Sarah, who asked what he had done. When he told her, she said,while of course understanding his reaction, "Well, that was wrong sweetie. Just because someone else has bad sportsmanship doesn't make it OK for us to have it."

Of course, we're both right to an extent, though Sarah more so, and Jamie seemed able to deal with that contradiction. Ultimately, I suspect he'll keep our advice in mind, but sort it out for himself.

Brave, snuggly Jamie

Jamie has become such a pleasant, sweet little boy. Not that he ever wasn't those things, but as many of you remember he was a bit, shall we say, prickly as a baby and a toddler. Then he went through a phase during the first years he was in school when he got very self-conscious about showing affection with us, especially in sight of the school. Well, those days are over. We tell people who didn't know him then, that when he was smaller he could be a real challenge at times and they just look at us like we're nuts and say "Him??!!"

He has such an easy affectionate manner now. He is always happy to have a hug, doesn't really matter where (well, perhaps not on the baseball field but otherwise). Whenever we say we love him, he very naturally answers "I love you too!" Especially now that it's cold, he frequently asks "Can we read a book on the couch and snuggle?" Or if he's watching a show, "Can you snuggle with me?" Sometimes, in real moments of benevolence he's even affectionate with Connor.

But we're also so often impressed with his bravery. Since last summer he's been playing on a traveling baseball team. For a few reasons they are playing up so he's been facing kids from 11 and under teams, some of whom are literally twice his size. It's kid pitch now and some of these kids can really fire it in there. But he just stands in and takes his cuts. In this picture he's standing at first base after knocking in two runs with a hard hit ball off a kid throwing gas.

Last night I sort of watched him marshal his resources in real time. He's playing in a rec basketball league at a nearby church and it was his first pracitice. When walked in there were kids and balls everywhere and it was a kind of chaotic, sensory overload scene that Jamie has never liked and that would frankly overwhelem anybody. A lot of the kids were older as well. He immediately, quietly, said, "I don't want to be here. I want to go home." And then "I don't want to play on this basketball team." I was a little extra worried because I couldn't stay because I had to go to a Little League board meeting. So we hung out for a while and met his coach and the rest of the kids on the team. They started to head to a hoop and I gave a little pep talk about how I always feel playing basketball with new people and, not because of the pep talk I'm sure, I could literally see him gathering himself. I sort of hung out with him for a little bit in the layup line and he said very nicely, "It's OK Dad, you can go."
Of course, at the point I didn't want to for anything in the world, but I dutifully marched off with my heart in my throat.

Books in bed

So our bedtime routine, all things being normal, is that we read books with the boys until about 8 and then they go to read books in bed for about 1/2 hour. With Jamie, voracious reader that he has become, this means that we hear absolutely nothing from him until we say lights out, at which point, invariably, he asks if he can finish his page and we, invariably, say yes. With Connor on the other hand, you really never know what's going to happen. Very frequently there are encore performances in the living room of one manner or other. Then there are times when he plays noisily with legos, trying to engage the reading Jamie and only annoying him in the process. Other times he goes into that particularly intense, silent play with his Playmobil dinosaurse. Other times he gets into bed and falls asleep in two seconds. Sometimes he gets into bed and falls asleep with a book on his face. Once in a while he gets lucky and gets to go up and read with Jamie.

Yesterday, I turned the corner into the room and found this:

It would be difficult to convey the intensity with which he was engaged with The Little Engine That Could. Sarah tried to ask him a couple of things and he just sort of blew her off and couldn't take his eyes from the page. He didn't quite finish before lights out and very seriously asked for a bookmark so he could pick it up in the morning. It's a page-turner folks.

Bunny homework

So Connor is in first grade now and has been adjusting to a moderate amount of homework. He gemerally does pretty well. It comes in packets that have to be turned in at the end of the week and he's motivated to do as much as possible early in the week to get it out of the way so that's meant that Thursday night doesn't have to be too painful.

One assignment the boys both get is a list of words, which they have to use in a sentence. Connor had this for the first time this week and got the concept immediately and churned out the following sentences. I transcribe them exactly here, and I think they give you a nice little window into Connor-world:

(Around) Look around you.
(Find) We need to find our Guinea Pigs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Food) Me and My Dad our goin to get food at the store.
(Grow) We our growing Planets in our garden
(Under) I play weth my guinea Pigs under the table.
(Water) Me and my family go to the Bech we go under water.

Christmas spirit

Maybe this post is meant to be a little cheering in the wake of everything that happened last week, and indicate the completely irrepressible awesomeness of kids.

One of the things that comes along with the holiday season at the boys' school are a lot of concerts. This picture is from one Jamie did at a senior living facility nearby, where they were much appreciated. He also did a couple of concerts at school. We went to the one during the day, and they had brought the kindergarteners in to sit on the floor and listen. Since there are a lot of concerts and performances at school, one of the things they work on is sitting still and quietly and listening and the kids were doing a great job. Until they played Jingle Bells. As they got to the chorus, there was a quiet, but insistent sound of 5- and 6-year-olds singing along. The teachers laughed, but very nicely told them to just listen. It was all for naught though. They just couldn't stop themselves. They knew the words and they were singing along and having a great time of it, especially with "laughing all the way (HA HA HA!!)." By the end, even the kids in the orchestra were smiling.

The State of Santa

Well, Christmas approaches with much anticipation in the Costello household. Connor, in his sweet way, is happily expecting Santa. Sarah did this thing where you can get Santa to send a personalized video greeting. Connor was a little anxious until Santa told him he was officially on the "nice" list, to which he responded with his signature arms-raised "YES!" exclamation. Unlike Jamie, who began pressing for the practical details of Santa, and testing the logical flaws of the whole thing when he was four, Connor has no inclination to question Santa at all.

Jamie, meanwhile, has gone back into full belief mode. As I have mentioned, last year in the lead-up to Christmas he cornered me outside, away from Connor, and asked very directly for the truth about Santa. Unlike the other times, I sensed that he really wanted to know this time, and he handled it fine then. But this year, when we were visiting the cousins in Austin, we all watched Elf. A great time was had, but after the movie, I found Jamie crying in his room alone. I asked what was wrong and was horrified to hear: "I wish you never told me about Santa!!!" Bad daddy!!! Bad daddy!!!

So after that he has basically decided to forget that I did tell him and is back in full-on Santa mode. I think playing it up for Connor helps with this as well. So, ho-ho-ho it is!!

Mr. Compliment

So Jamie and Sarah were reading a book he got from school about  Navy SEALs. He was very impressed by the rigorous training program they undertake. He marvelled at the fact that they run 200 miles over five days, and said "Mommy, you don't even run that far!" She agreed, but then they got to a picture of a SEAL, or would-be SEAL I guess, grimacing as he pulled himself up a rope obstacle. Jamie was less-impressed, "Mommy, you're tougher than that guy. You wouldn't make that face if you were doing that," he informed her.

Sarah wasn't quite sure this was true, but she didn't say anything. Given what's happened in the last week, if Jamie feels his Mommy is tougher than a Navy SEAL, he must feel pretty safe, so we'll take that.