Jamie and Connor

House music

2012-01-06T11:36:00.000-08:00

It's a little hard to explain why this one was so funny, but I'll give it a shot. There are a couple of elements to this, one being Connor's love of dinosaurs and the other his tendency to mix words up and make his own little versions of things.

So there is this beautiful pop-up dinosaur book we have, which is a big nighttime books favorite for Connor. It happened that he and Sarah read it a few times together and they began to make a series of silly games with the various pop-ups. The T-Rex, for instance, would try to bite Connor's and Jamie's noses and generally tear around roaring mightily. Then it would argue with the Archeaopteryx on the next page, taking objection to the notion that it could be related to a chicken. For the Anklyosaurus, sort of an armored tank kind of dinosaur, they started making it dance by pulling the book open and shut. The next time I read it to Connor, I was aware that they had developed some pretty elaborate scenarios and I was keeping up OK, but I wasn't prepared for what happened when we got to this page. He grabbed the book and started opening and closing it really fast so the Anklyosaurus bounced up down spastically. Then Connor started saying, with great enthusiasm "The bass is pumpin'! The crab is jumpin'!" over and over again. Jamie has learned to delight in Connor's malapropisms and improvisations so soon we were all saying it and roaring with laughter. Connor just got more enthusiastic the more we laughed. It's sort of a catch-phrase around here now.

When will we learn?

2012-01-06T07:03:00.000-08:00

This is a cello update, but the larger theme is that at some point Sarah and I are just going to have to stop doubting Jamie's mojo. He does these things and we think we need to give him some advice only to see that he's got it totally under control. For instance, it has made us crazy for years the way Jamie is completely poker-faced around girls. We tell him to be nice otherwise they won't want to talk to him anymore. But then everyday it seems more girls say "Hi Jamie!!" as he walks down the hall. We should stay out of it clearly.

In the last cello post, I suggested that Jamie's usual wait-until-he-can-do-it-all, rather than learn incrementally, method wouldn't work for music. Au contraire mon pere. Yet again, he has proved that you can run at least at the same time that you can walk. After weeks of barely being allowed to use the bow and being the only child who hadn't satisfactorily performed any songs, suddenly he's shot forward and is about pass his third song. His teacher remarked a couple of weeks ago that he would probably pass about four in a row at once. So there you have it, the Jamie method strikes again.

I don't know if he's enjoying the playing the cello exactly, but he definitely likes knowing songs and is actually rather a quick learn. His teacher is still doggedly trying to get his posture and bow hand position correct and is learning what it can be like to work with Jamie. In the lesson yesterday he sat there with this expressionless face he gets during lessons and as she tried to push his fingers in place, get his back straight, his elbow up, etc., she finally looked up in exasperation and said, "He's pushing against everything I'm doing!" Welcome to our world. Love that little guy, but lord can he be stubborn. Got to come to it his own way.

Napoleon Costello

2012-01-06T06:48:00.000-08:00

We have all known Connor, since the time of his birth, to be a very good-natured, sunny little fellow. We have also seen him have to contend with the force of nature that is his older brother. Generally, he goes along with what Jamie wants and finds places to insert himself where he can.

What's funny though is what happens when Jamie is not around. First of all, this is usually a big problem because inevitably he wants to be where Jamie is. He hasn't quite got the idea yet that if one of Jamie's buddies invites him over for a sleepover, Connor doesn't automatically get to go. But, finding himself back here alone with us, something changes. Suddenly he realizes he has the field to himself and two things happen. One is that he becomes very bossy, producing a series of requests and generally keeping us both and his bidding. Believe me, we try to keep it under control and at least get him to ask politely but the onslaught is really extraordinary.

The other thing that happens is that he NEVER stops talking. I mean that literally. Until the moment he falls asleep and starting again immediately when he wakes up, it is a constant stream of consciousness, as if all the stuff he's forced to keep quiet about as Jamie fills the space suddenly comes pouring out. He has this way of moving from one utterance to another, beginning with the phrase "Oh and mommy??! or "Oh and daddy??!" (sometimes he confuses us, but it doesn't really matter). This can often introduce a topic that had been dropped days ago as if we had been just talking about it, so you have to stay alert. We hear that phrase about 50 times an hour.

This has happened the last couple of days with Jamie around, however, and I think it has to do with Legos. See, he got a bunch of them for Christmas, about which he is thrilled, of course. He has now tasked us with building them, and our initial responsiveness with this seems to have sort of empowered him. Seeing us doing his bidding like that must evoke those brief periods of solitary power and so he is in full on Connor rules mode. But of course Jamie cedes no sonic ground whatsoever, so the last two days have been a real cacophony of sound here.

Jamie spreads holiday joy

2011-12-13T09:48:00.000-08:00

We were riding home in the car last week, I think on the way back from our traditional Monday after school ice cream, when Jamie, out of no where said. "Dad, it was kind of funny watching you struggle to put the cardinal on top of our Christmas tree." This nice observation then led to some thinking about presents under the tree. Jamie then began saying, as he likes to, that on Christmas he can get up whenever he wants. I said, that wasn't quite true but that he could get up at 6 (he would prefer 4:30 or 5). Connor, on the other hand, is like I was and figures the presents will still be there so why not stay in bed. This, in turn, frustrates Jamie because he has to wait for Connor.

So Jamie then said that when he was twenty (read: generic age signifying adulthood) he and Connor wouldn't be living together so this wouldn't be an issue anymore. I pointed out that they very well might live together, noting that his mommy and Aunt Carolyn had lived together when they were about that age. "Yeah!" Connor said. Jamie actually cleared liked this idea quite a bit, but said "Fine. But I won't wait for you to open presents!"

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

2011-12-13T09:34:00.000-08:00

Well, we're getting ready for the big Costello road trip up north. A big part of this is the possibility of snow, so let's hope for some well-timed (ie not days when we're on the road) inclement weather. We went to New York last winter and the combination of snow and cousins was by far the biggest hit. When we flew into New York last year it was extremely cold and had just snowed quite a bit. As soon as we stepped outside of baggage claim at Newark, Jamie found a hill of rather unlovely snow and insisted on climbing it before anything else happened.

Once we got into the city we braved the extreme cold (really, it was very cold, not just to us soft Houstoners) and headed a few blocks north to Central Park. The wind was so intense that at one point as we waited to cross the street Connor burst into tears, I think in part because the feeling was so unfamiliar. As soon as we hit the park the boys just barreled into the snow, much of which was not, ahem, altogether pristine. Jamie was fearless in climbing snow and ice covered hills. Connor needed a bit of an escort but was excited too.

From there we set out overland to the Central Park Zoo, getting there just in time to see some penguins and the snow leopard. Sarah and Connor went ahead of Jamie and I because Jamie insisted on ascending every hill and snow bank there was to be found. Really he showed impressive fortitude against the sub-freezing temperatures. Eventually we made our way out of the park and the boys discovered the joys of NY hot dogs. It turned out not to be the end of our Central Park adventures, because we came back with a friend after visiting the Natural History Museum. They liked the dinosaurs well enough but it was basically a prelude to finding a hill to go sliding down on their bellies.

But all of this in turn was the prelude to their favorite thing of all which was having a snowball fight with their cousins in Armonk. They have literally not stopped talking about it since. So let's hope for snow!

Holiday logic

2011-12-13T09:29:00.000-08:00

The boys are, as a rule, not into getting rid of things. I don't suppose that makes them very unique, but Jamie is particularly tenacious about wanting to hold on to stuff, and Connor of course takes his cues from big brother. When asked to purge some old unused toys Jamie has learned to mobilize his big brown eyes and to look at us and say, quietly, "But this is very special to me." Hard to resist and he knows it.

Another bit of the psychology that may be in play here was recently revealed. There was a used book drive at school, so Sarah asked the boys if there were any books they wanted to donate. Jamie, predictably, said no. Sarah then explained that this was for kids who weren't so lucky and didn't have any books. Jamie replied, "I know. I don't want to be one of those kids!" Gotta admit there's a certain logic there.

The confusion goes on

2011-12-07T13:08:00.000-08:00

I want to preface this post by saying that it is very clear that Connor is an exceptionally bright boy. He recently scored a kind of absurdly high number on one of those standardized tests. Not that these really mean anything of course, but it's just one indication which is consistent with things we've observed. His reading for instance is proceeding at leaps and bounds. He seems to jump ahead almost on an hourly basis these days.

But his Kryptonite, it would seem, remains animal identification. Now, James could identify animals at a distance before he could talk. I can remember him feverishly signing "dog" on one of our early morning walks when his age was still counted in months. I also remember him presciently signing bird after studying penguins swimming for a few minutes.

But Connor, well...A few weeks ago we were at Brazos Bend State Park and in the nature center they had a stuffed raccoon. Connor looked at it and said, "Awww, look, a fox!" Then last weekend we were at the baseball field and someone in the distance walked by with a black and white border collie. Connor excitedly said, "Look Daddy!!! A baby cow!" I really had to struggle to keep a straight face and answer his excitement while gently pointing out that it was a dog.

I have this fear that there is a secret test to become President in which you have to correctly identify 5 animals and Connor will be cooked. Maybe he'll just get a nice, difficult Cabinet post.

Cello update

2011-11-22T13:19:00.000-08:00

Jamie continues to work at cello. We're starting to realize, and we suspected this, that it's going to be a struggle, especially with practice. Jamie can be really dogged when he wants to (see posts on baseball), but there are some challenges with this. I think it has to do with his tendency to not want to do things until he is a master of them. We have seen this with him since learning to walk, which he refused to do until he could run, and learning to read. He would not work to sound out letters the way Connor does, but instead waited until in essence he had memorized a huge number of words, or gotten to the point when he could sound them out intuitively, so that when he did start reading he jumped quickly to an advanced level.

The problem, of course, is that this won't work for cello. At least not initially. I do wonder if once he gets through this face of getting the basic mechanics down, he might also move forward quickly. One of the other obstacles is that he doesn't like working on the mechanics by themselves. He wants to play songs. I'm hoping that this will serve us down the road as well. He seems to think in terms of the entire unit rather than each other sections. Things have advanced in the past couple weeks as his posture has advanced enough that his teacher is letting him use the bow, and he can pluck out two songs pretty much in their entirety.

So stay tuned, as it were, for more progress reports.

Did you mean?

2011-11-22T12:13:00.000-08:00

So Sarah, technologically savvy as she is, has joined the twenty-first century and got herself a smart phone. Among many things, it has had the effect of pleasing the boys because they get, under special circumstances, to play Angry Birds. The first night we let them do this, each one would play while books were read to the other. Connor was so excited he could hardly stand it, and as he played he kept muttering "Angra birds, angra birds, angra birds".

It is astonishing to see the skill with which he has adapted to using the phone but sometimes he gets in trouble. To keep a grip on the phone he has to really wrap his wee hands around it so that sometimes he inadvertently hits a button and is navigated away from the game. This displeases him and we are called in. This happened last night. I was in the other other room but I heard a series of anxious/angry noises and went into check it out. I soon saw that he had somehow activated the voice recognition function, which had kept a record of his utterances. It looked about like this:

"Did you mean: ooooo ooooooooo?"
"Did you mean: oo ooooooh?"
"Did you mean: ooooooooo?"
There were about 15 variations of this and then:
"Did you mean: hell yeah?"

Not quite sure what produced this last one.

Watch out ladies!

2011-11-20T19:00:00.000-08:00

Connor is in this funny stage between being big boy and a little guy and it often comes out when we play with friends where there is a range of ages. He actually is quite skilled lately at moving between older and younger crowds. He keeps up pretty well with Jamie and his buddies, but has gotten really nice with younger kids, and actually is able to be something of a leader with them and to show some real patience.

Other times, of course, he loses it a bit. We were over at our friends' house last night, and they have a little girl who is 2. While the grown-ups were eating dinner, he came in and announced that she had been beating him on the head. "Well, Connor," her Dad said, "she shouldn't do that, but you need to learn that girls can be dangerous." Connor thought about that for about a half-second and answered confidently, "Well, I know karate!"

Addendum

2011-11-07T07:51:00.000-08:00

(by mommy) A very sweet addendum to Leo's last post about the boys sharing a bedroom is a recent habit they've developed. Connor climbs into Jamie's bunk after we put them to bed, and they giggle and talk, and then Jamie reads Connor books. Their choices have included "Grandma and Me," "Elmo gets homesick," and "The Jorge Posada Story."

I realize some brothers do this sort of thing often, but ours have never had a particularly affectionate relationship, even when they get along well. So we are pretty much loving this.

Can't go to sleep with 'em, can't go to sleep without 'em

2011-11-04T10:28:00.000-07:00

The boys are still sharing a bedroom, Jamie on the top bunk, Connor on the bottom. In theory we are going to move one of them to another room at some point but I don't see this as particularly immanent. I'm sure Connor would be very distressed to be alone (on nights when he won't be quiet (most) one of the threats that sometimes works a little is to move him out of the room by himself). But interestingly, Jamie seems to really like having his brother there too.

This is somewhat hard to detect because there is inevitably frustration. Jamie loves to read in bed. Connor, who I would add is doing great with his reading these days, however, wants to talk. There then begins a cycle of Connor talking and Jamie frustratedly yelling "Connnooo! BE QUIET". Then we yell at Jamie to be quiet, and on it goes. Even when the light goes out Jamie often complains he can't sleep or hear is music because of Connor, so this goes on.

But a couple of nights as they've been going to sleep Connor has emerged from the bedroom to ask some question (this often happens) and Jamie has started calling to him. We assumed at first this was frustration that Connor was going to get them both in trouble, but when we asked him he said, "I like having Connor here. I want him to come back." Displays of affection from the older brother are rare, but very sweet when they happen.

Fall ball

2011-11-04T10:18:00.000-07:00

A quick update on the baseball life. It has sort of come to rule our existence again. Fall ball is a bit less of a time commitment, in theory, but because Connor has started, we seem to be at the fields about as much as we were in the spring. Jamie has been doing great. It's really fun to see how far he has come and he can definitely hold his own out there. He's been in a bit of a slump lately because he's finally gotten to the point where he really swings the bat hard and he has had to get used to timing his swing better because it's moving through the zone so much faster. He's had a number of hits this year, but Wednesday was the first time with the new swing that he really connected and he drilled the ball between the line and the third baseman. By far the hardest hit he's had. What's fun is that he is very self-motivated and really loves playing. Last night while I was helping to coach Connor's game Jamie found a couple of boys and they went off a played a game on their own, which I love. I think that too much is made sometimes of the imposition of organized sports over spontaneous "sandlot" playing, as if they were exclusive. I'm sure Jamie never would have felt confident enough to do this without playing Little League.

Now, Connor. Well, he has his moments, but it's a bit of a battle. I think the main issue for him is not so much coordination as attention. Which is to say he doesn't pay any. Something about getting on the baseball field seems to spur the silly mode in Connor (not that it takes much) and he goes into a total wiggle, spinning around, rolling on the ground, doing everything but looking at the baseball. But he has fun sometimes and he is certainly not the only one of those kids to be distracted. Basically if you put a bunch of 5-year-olds around a big expanse of dirt, there's only one real outcome, it's just a question of how long it takes.

The family chicken

2011-10-28T17:46:00.000-07:00

(Guest post by mommy). Connor produced this phrase today. He was describing some elaborate scene he was going to create in a cave on Hoth (Star Wars reference, for the uninitiated). I was only half paying attention, because I had lost my keys somewhere between school and our car. But finally I got him to stop talking, and I asked him where he was going to create this scene. "No, Mommy! We're all going to make it! It's the family chicken!"

Say what?

Turns out he got a paper cutout of a turkey at school, with instructions that he was to decorate it, with his family's help, with anything he wished... beads, acorns, feathers, whatever. So he has turned this paper turkey, in his mind, into a sort of Sistine Chapel ceiling, on which we will all play Michelangelo, coloring elaborate Star Wars narratives. But he thinks it's a chicken. A family chicken.

The truth comes out

2011-10-24T06:34:00.001-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, out of nowhere seemingly, Jamie asked the Santa question again. I had put them to bed and it had been quiet for about 20 minutes when Jamie called out and when I got there he asked if there was really a Santa. He's asked before, of course, and we've said yes but there was clearly something a little more probing about this. I just wasn't ready then so I said we'd talk about it in the morning, kind of hoping he would forget.

But alas, he did not so I told him that really there was no guy with a white beard flying around, but that the spirit of Santa was very real, etc. He was fine with this, and especially liked the "let's let Connor keep believing" aspect of things. He spent some time thinking about this and then had two main reactions. One was disappointment/confusion. Having understood that the presents came from us or other family, he asked "Then how did I get my nerf gun last year?" See he knows we didn't particularly approve of that so he asked Santa for instead of us, and got it. So I told him, no we were willing to do that. Then he got bummed realizing that there was no extra-parental path for him to take in seeking the ultimate Star Wars set: the Death Star. The other reaction was to wonder how Norad did the Santa Tracker. Amazing the power of scientific "proof"!

I submit as evidence...

2011-09-20T11:39:00.001-07:00

As we have noted, the boys would seem to be well-prepared for a career in law. Usually we cite their almost uncanny memory for precedent and a determined, if often misguided, sense of justice. But a recent episode revealed that Jamie may also have a flair for courtroom dramatics.

Jamie takes the law seriously of course, i.e. he is passionate about following rules and very afraid of being on the wrong side of them. Now, getting them out to school in the morning is a challenge. Frankly they are just a little slow to get moving in the morning and let's face it they come by it honestly. Their ideal is to ease into the day by transitioning from the bed to the couch, watching a show and then facing breakfast, then playing for a while. We just don't have time for this on school days. So it's a bit of a fight to get them out and to school on time, but we almost always manage it.

I guess the "almost" is important. One day last semester I was about 5 minutes late getting Jamie there for one reason or another. I thought I was within in the window of acceptability though, so when he came home asking me why he had been tardy, I told him we were just running a little behind schedule, and that I was sorry but that I didn't think he was officially tardy. "Oh really?" he said leadingly. Then he paused, and asked sharply, "Then how do you explain...THIS?" and he reached into his pocket and pulled out a slip of paper with his name, picture and the word "TARDY" in big block letters. I confess I was speechless. He might as well have said "May I remind you that you are under oath sir?"

Case closed, Daddy guilty on all charges.

Here we go again

2011-09-17T06:39:00.000-07:00

Well folks, in the strange calendar of Texas it is time for Fall baseball. It may seem soon, but to be honest Jamie has been chomping at the bit, asking for the past month when baseball starts. Here are some great pictures from last year.

For myself, I am also happy it's beginning, but also not quite ready for the intensity of it. Jamie, of course, takes it very seriously, too. Watching him bat is a bit torturous, I just want him to do well so badly, but mainly because I know he does as well.

I thought I would recap some of the excitement from last year. Having had a good but not great regular season, our team, which was younger and smaller than most went on a hot streak that led into the playoff. The first game was frankly one of the greatest sporting events I have ever witnessed. Honestly, the only baseball games I can think of that rival it for me are the 1986 Mets playoff and World Series games.

So we won 16-15 in 7 innings. It was a see-saw battle the whole game, with both teams playing their hearts out, many good plays in the field great hitting, and the usual element of chaos. They went up 3-0, then we went up 5-3, then they were up 8-5 and it went back and forth until we were down 11-10 with 2 outs in the bottom of the 4th and Jamie came up with a runner on third. I could tell he knew it was a big moment and he dug in and got a hit to tie it at 11. After he was safe at first the first baseman bobbled the ball, however, and for reasons known only to him he took off for second with the first baseman standing right there. After recovering from his surprise, the 1B picked up the ball and starting chasing Jamie, who after a brief moment of doubt is now running hell for leather for second. Now this kid is eight and looks literally about twice Jamie's size. I think this helped motivate him because I have never seen Jamie run anything close to that fast and he beat him to second by a hair. I was actually lying on the ground by the time he got there.

But then they go up 15-11 in the top of the 5th. We score 4 to tie it in the bottom and just missed getting the lead, and hold them to 0 runs for the first time in the top of 6. But it's the bottom of our order and we go down 1-2-3. So it's on to extra innings and we've got their big hitters up. But we hold them again and now things look good. Our #12 hitter leads off and dinks one in front of the plate. Would have been out by a mile but they overthrow first so I send him to second, they overthrow second and he goes to third. It's no outs and the top of our lineup. The leadoff hitter hits a grounder to third and they don't even through to first so we just hold the runner. Next kid hits one to the outfield game over. Crazy. Don't know how many more of those I can take. And that was just the beginning of the playoffs.

Connor's world

2011-09-16T10:08:00.000-07:00

The fact is, Connor's world is just not quite the same one the rest of us live in. We've noted often Connor's un-trustworthiness, but I think we're starting to understand that not all of it stems from mischievous impulses.

While initial reports of the transition in schools were very positive, he's actually been having a bit more trouble lately. Compared to his previous school, the fact of the matter is that the new school is big and noisy and there's very little we can do to change this. He's been fine in his classroom, which is a wonderfully sweet place, and with his teacher, who clearly adores him (who couldn't?) but at other times there is clearly some anxiety.

Sarah has very astutely suggested that some of his questionable accounts of things at school are best seen as means of coping with some of those anxieties. He gets very nervous about walking by himself in the hallways, particularly past one area where a loud fan blows. He came home one day saying that he had been left behind by his class and gotten lost. He said that he went to the front office and they gave him directions back to his room. This struck us as worrisome clearly so we asked his teacher, who has a GREAT deal of credibility and is an experienced, highly-detailed, talented teacher. She said in no uncertain terms that no such thing had happened or would happen. But as Sarah says, I think that the story was a means for Connor to work through his fears and imagine the scenario and what he would do. He produced another story last night about a stranger being in the building and being chased down by the police. This comes on the heels, it is clear from stuff Jamie has said, of a school-wide discussion about security. We are glad, clearly, they take this seriously, but it's the sort of thing that can cause a bunny to worry.

Anyway, armed with these and other defense mechanisms, things have been OK the last couple of days. We had his open house last night and he was tireless in leading us proudly around the room, so it's clear that in that space he is very happy and comfortable and learning a great deal, too.

Yo Yo Jamie

2011-09-16T09:56:00.001-07:00

As you know, the fact that our chosen school is distinguished for its music program has caused some hand-wringing for us, given that neither of the boys has demonstrated an overwhelming aptitude or interest in music thus far. So I confess it has been with some trepidation that I have watched Jamie's first few weeks in cello. But we should have learned by now. When asked to do things in an official context, especially when other kids are doing it, Jamie takes things very seriously and responds with a certain dogged determination.

I think things were helped by the fact that the beginners like Jamie didn't get their instruments until this past week. By then the anticipation had built up so much that the cello had become a much-valued prize. He is still not playing it, however. They are working now on respect for the instrument, so Jamie has to practice putting it in and taking it out of its case and carrying it safely around. Thus, I came home yesterday to see him cheerfully, but carefully, marching around the house, 1/2-size cello firmly in two hands. There may be resistance to come as the realities of a practice schedule emerge, but I think having the instrument also gives him a little sense of status at the school, where so many kids play, as well as a sense of responsibility. Older child that he is, he takes responsibility very seriously. He seems to sense also, that there is something very special about this thing, and the sense of ownership clearly means a lot to him. Updates to follow.

Do not disturve!

2011-09-13T08:20:00.000-07:00

Connor takes a lot of heat from Jamie. For more or less anytime anything goes wrong in Jamie's world, most especially a broken Lego, or some toy in a place he didn't want it to be, he automatically blames Connor. Connor can scarcely open his mouth without being contradicted and Jamie gets especially annoyed at Connor for talking when Jamie doesn't want him to (during TV shows or while reading in bed at night). Jamie reserves a very special tone of "Connooooo!" for these times often followed by "you're bothering me!"

We try to work on this as much as we can, but Connor has his own means of enacting revenge, often claiming that Jamie is in some way bothering him, even though this often seems manufactured. His revenge is a very indignant, authoritative, "You're disturving me!!!"

Down the street

2011-09-09T07:30:00.000-07:00

One of the reasons we chose our neighborhood is that we were seeking a community and a little bit more of an organic childhood experience for the boys. I suppose this means we didn't want it always to have to be arranged play-dates that we plan and drive them to, etc. Indeed this has worked out as we have wonderful neighbors and great friends for the boys. I realize though that we're not totally prepared to deal with what this means all the time. The other day our friends down the street invited the boys over at the last minute. Connor was sick and couldn't go, so Jamie sensed an opportunity. He has been agitating for permission to walk there by himself (it's across the street and about 3 houses down) but our usual excuse is that we can't let Connor go without us. With that out of the way Jamie pounced. I said yes but that I would watch him, which elicited a groan. "I don't need you to watch me!" Before I even realized it I was confessing: "I know Jamie but I need it." There is something in here about us growing up more slowly than they do. Anyway, I told him I wouldn't watch, but did so discreetly from a window. That's lying I know, but it was the best I could offer.

First day of school! First day of school!

2011-08-24T10:27:00.001-07:00

Yep, it all began again on Monday. The boys are finally in the same school again, which is great and Connor is thrilled to be at the same place as Jamie. As often, there was much grumbling about it. Jamie is not so much anti-school as he is pro-summer, so he resents school as the end of the happy-time. For his part, Connor tends to go along with whatever Jamie says, so he's adopted the "we don't like school" party line as well. But for all of that they've both done. Jamie periodically slips and admits to having had a pretty good time, especially being back with his buddies.

The only thing with Connor is that he continues to prefer trying to hang out with Jamie's friends to making his own. There is a very sweet boy who is in Connor class and on his baseball team, who, Connor tells me, "wants to be his friend." But Connor claims to not like him. The other morning we were getting out of the car to walk into school and this boy passed and said with a great big smile "Hi Connor!" Connor just scowled. Sigh. They're always a little grumpy in the morning but really.

Give me a D!!

2011-08-18T07:43:00.000-07:00

So I took the boys to the doctor's office this week for Connor's 5-year checkup. The boys put on quite a show. They spent the entire time in the waiting room, hallways and examination room tumbling over each other and hurtling themselves around, my exhortations of calm notwithstanding. Nobody seemed to mind though because this was all accompanied by ripples of laughter and silly noises.

When we were able to corral the boy-ness for long enough for the Doc to do his work all was pronounced well. The best part was the vision test. Connor really likes doing letter recognition, so he was into it. The nurse would point to a letter and Connor, one hand over an eye would yell "E!" "P!!" "D!!!!" getting louder every time. The whole office pretty much stopped to watch. Then it was time to do the other eye, so she told him to cover it with his other hand. He looked confused for a bit, then slowly raised his hand, but without uncovering the other eye. He stood there for a little and then said "Hey! I can't see!" Much hilarity. Eventually, we sorted it out and discovered that he sees quite well indeed.

A hard question to answer

2011-08-14T11:18:00.000-07:00

Kids, as we know, ask extraordinary questions at ordinary times. The other day I was changing Connor after swimming. I think he had a tummy full of Goldfish, which seemed to get him thinking. With great earnestness, but without real concern, he asked, "Dad, when you are full of food, how is Jesus inside of everyone? I mean, how does he fit in there?" Clearly, some discussion with school had stuck with him. I tried to answer in sort of metaphysical (and no doubt heretical, too) terms, and that was good enough to an extent. But he still wanted to know how Jesus fits inside. I changed the subject eventually.

Bedtime trouble

2011-08-13T19:45:00.000-07:00

Every night the boys get to "read" in bed. I put it quotes because Connor can't read, really. But he likes to look through the pictures and then ask for a bookmark when it's time for lights out. But tonight after we got back from our great trip to Nonni and Diddy's, we were getting ready for bed and he decided he wanted to do some coloring. Since we were literally off to brush teeth I said no, but we'll do it first thing tomorrow, trying to be cheerful. But no, he wanted to do it in bed. I felt I needed to draw the line here a bit so I stuck to my guns. He got very very unhappy and there was a scene.

Eventually I used the opportunity of him crying to brush his teeth for him (mouth's already open after all---is that bad of me?) and sent him off to bed. He started quietly playing with some Lego ships in their room and I told him he could do that while Jamie read for a few minutes, as long as he was quiet about it. But then Jamie starts freaking out because he doesn't want Connor to break his Legos. So then Connor freaks out. Eventually I get Jamie to relent as Connor very seriously promises to be super careful. So I leave the room in peace. Five minutes later Connor comes out and says he needs my help. As we get to the door, he whispers, "Don't tell Jamie!!" Sure enough, there is a broken Lego ship on the ground. Unbelievable! So I am now stealthily rebuilding it while Connor keeps intoning, "Don't tell Jamie!" Miraculously the surgery was completed and Jamie never knew.

Ah, Connor

2011-08-13T19:42:00.000-07:00

There is a sense in which Connor is clearly aware that being blonde and cute makes his life pretty easy. He's more or less straight up admitted that he knows he can get away with things because he's cute. Maybe it's not related, but there is this slightly endearing cluelessness about things sometimes with Connor, as if he can leave the details to other people to work out. He's confused about when Sarah's coming back and keeps asking if it's going to be today or tomorrow, despite the fact that I've explained this a bunch of times. And just when I think he's growing out of it, the other morning I put a t-shirt on him with a large gorilla. He pointed at it and said, "Oooh! Is that a fox?!!" Ah, Connor.

Anteater family

2011-08-06T06:06:00.000-07:00

Connor has always been a little bit more into animals than Jamie was. While Jamie likes having stuffed animals in his bed, for instance, and tends, typically, to be very loyal to a few of them, Connor really adores having as many of his "guys" around him as possible, and is much more apt to carry them around the house. He also likes to pretend that we are a family of one kind of animal or the other. There's clearly some therapeutic quality to this because it's helping him work through missing Sarah. As often with Connor he's a little fuzzy on the chronological details of the trip. We had explained pretty clearly that she would be gone for three weeks, but of course the day after she left he saw a plane in the sky and excitedly asked if Mommy was on it.

But the day before she left he asked if we could pretend he was the Anteater baby and Jamie was the Anteater kid and I was Anteater Daddy and Anteater Mommy was going on a trip. So we've done that periodically. One of the only discernible differences between our Anteater life and our normal existence is that when being an Anteater Connor gets to snuffle his food off the plate. This pleases him lots more than it does Anteater Daddy.

Hoopin'

2011-07-31T20:04:00.000-07:00

Jamie continues to have a great time playing basketball. We had our last game of the summer on Saturday and it was definitely Jamie's best. He's been doing really well on defense (the coach calls him a "bulldog" on D - imagine our little Jamie!), in part I think because it's a clear mandate - guard that kid. On offense, as I've written, he is just a little uncertain because they're aren't such clear rules, so he tends to defer. But this week his coach expressly told him to shoot and he took it to heart. He ended up only making one but took really good shots and clearly was becoming more confident and assertive. His basket was great, too, because he rebounded it at the defensive end, immediately turned up court, took it the whole way, got to the basket and made it.

It's cute to watch though because it's like seeing the two Jamies. While the ball isn't in play he's making silly noises, talking and laughing with the kid he's guarding and dancing around. AS SOON as the ball goes in play he shifts into game-face and concentration mode and doesn't break until the whistle. Really proud of our silly little bulldog!

Water levels

2011-07-31T19:54:00.000-07:00

The pool continues to dominate our summer. It is actually wonderful because it is sort of the center of our existence. Our plans more or less come together around when we are going to the pool and how much time we are going to spend there. Connor has really come so far swimming this year, it's incredible to see. He is learning the front crawl, does a great doggie paddle and can jump in, go all the ay under, come up and swim to the side. He does back-flips under water and today, for the first time, he went off the diving board. It was sort of only halfway because he got 3/4 of the way down the board and then jumped sideways off and quickly got to the edge, but impressive nonetheless. Unfortunately, this is not allowed at the pool so the next time I told him he had to go to the end and jump straight off. He actually went out three times and just couldn't go to the edge and had to come back. So he's hit a limit clearly, but I don't expect it to last long.

One of the great things at the pool is we've gotten to the point where we know various people there so Jamie is often off immediately running around with his buddies. So it was nice yesterday when at the end of the day, most people had left so Jamie hung around with Connor and I. We had such a good time. We have these inflatable rafts and would throw them up in the air so that the came down Splat! in the middle of them and we would all laugh hilariously. Then we started playing a game, which may not sound good, but was fun. Jamie would take a water-ball, very soft to be clear and try and bean Connor with it while I tried to block him. Can't explain why it was so fun, but we just laughed and laughed.

Turn the page

2011-07-31T06:24:00.001-07:00

Jamie is clearly very proud of his reading ability, and he should be. He absolutely tears through books and would keep reading all night if we didn't tell him to turn the lights off. One of our current bedtime rituals is that when we come in finally tell him to turn the light off, he asks what page of the book we think he's on. We inevitably guess much too low and he is pleased and we remark on how much he reads.

About half the time Connor has already gone off to sleep, but when he's not he too asks what page we think he's on. He hasn't quite got the point of the game however, because we'll guess 10 and he'll proudly proclaim, "No! 3!!!" I guess the important thing is that we're wrong. Sometimes, out of dumb luck, we're actually right though and Connor scrunches up his face and growls. Then gets the book and turns the page so we're wrong. Ahh, all can be well again.

Camper of the week!

2011-07-25T08:36:00.000-07:00

Hi all, sorry for the delay in posts, it's been a busy month. Good news is there's lots to catch up on. One of the main features of this summer has been the boys being in Kidventure camp. This is Jamie's third year and Connor's second. Jamie has always loved it in the past, and he's had a good time this year, but I think it may have run its course a bit with him. It's a very creative, artsy-crafty, activity focused place, which we like but I think Jamie is really wanting something more sports-focused. He does seem to have impressed them with his athletic ability and a couple of weeks ago got the best Sportsman award for the week, which pleased him very much. This last week he got an award for best Big Brother, which may have pleased us a bit more than him.

Connor, on the other hand, has been loving it. Now, our children often tend to be a bit reluctant about group activities. Let's face it, they come by it honestly. Sarah and I are not joiners, and we are not generally audience-participation types. But Connor's zeal for camp was such that a couple of weeks ago he got one of two camper of the week awards for the whole camp. Generally this was because he is an agreeable, kind little boy who has fun, but the icing on the cake was his performance of the Kidventure song. He had done it for us a bit at home, but we were getting reports from the counselors of much more enthusiastic renderings. Sure enough at the week end talent show and award ceremony, when it came time to sing the song, Connor marched, quite uninvited, up on to the stage with the counselors and sang so loud we could hear him over the entire group of 50 or so kids. His face was bright red and the veins in his neck were popping out! Sometimes he's still not a joiner, but when he does he really goes all in.

Mr. Nice guy

2011-06-29T05:58:00.000-07:00

Jamie had a playdate yesterday at a friend from school's house. As soon as he got wind of this Connor asked if he was going too, and was quite disconsolate on hearing no. He doesn't seem to quite understand that he needs to make his own friends. Even when he does he would usually ditch them in a second for Jamie and his buddies.

So we dropped Jamie off and I asked Connor if he would like to do something special to make up for it. I would have gone pretty far with this, but he said excitedly "Go home and play war!" This is is favorite game lately and it made me realize how big a deal it is for Connor to have our undivided attention. I said sure but asked him to think a little bigger still and he came up with an Orange Icee.

On the way to the playdate I had been reminding Jamie to use good manners. When I pulled into the parking spot with Connor later, he said, pretty much out of nowhere, "I'm sure Jamie will use good manners." Yes, I said, because he's such a nice person. "He's nice to everybody except me," Connor said, matter-of-factly. I couldn't really deny the truth of it, but I said sometimes he's nice to you. Connor said, "Yeah. When he teaches me how to draw machine guns." That had been the morning activity. Awww!

Swish

2011-06-25T17:30:00.000-07:00

Jamie had another basketball game today and things went considerably better. They still lost but it was a good game, I think 26-14 in the end. Jamie was a tireless defender and worked really hard. Yet again, his determination to pass and to adhere to the rules resulted in some turnovers, when he got stuck holding the ball and try to throw it over 10 kids to a teammate, but he also made a couple of really good passes AND knocked down his first basket. I was pretty excited and I think he was too, but, like Connect Four, he seems to know to act like you've been there before. So there was no celebration, he just put his head down and ran back on D. It was actually a pretty nice play, he ran down to the middle of the lane and a teammate hit him with a nice bounce pass and he picked it up and shot it straightaway. First of many no doubt...

(Dis)connect four

2011-06-25T06:01:00.000-07:00

To be honest, Jamie has never been particularly effective at games of strategy. He tends to focus on the goal and go straight for it, without reacting what the other player may be doing, or thinking about playing defense. It would seem, however, that he has just decided to focus all his skills on Connect Four. After the main part of the camp day is over they get the kids together and give them some time to sit and play games together, and in this time Jamie has established a reputation as a master of Connect Four.

This skill seems to have both positive and negative results. On the one had he's clearly earned some cred around camp. Sarah came to pick up them up once and discovered Jamie playing with a crowd around watching. Just as she got there, he dropped a checker in to make not only a connect-four, but a connect five. As the crowd oooh-ed, Jamie saw Sarah and just walked away, completely casually, like he'd done it a million times.

On the other hand I think this skill can create tension. He has a particular friend who he's been going to camp with the past three weeks. The give them awards every week and last week the two of them got the "Thunder and Lightning" award for being such good buddies. Jamie was pleased with this because he remembers getting the "Best buddies" award with Will 2 summers ago (see earlier post). However, one day this week I came in to pick him up and found his friend sitting alone in front of an empty Connect Four game, looking rather put out. Jamie was playing outside. Didn't get details but it seems Connect Four got in between Thunder and Lightning, if only briefly.

I think we can all agree

2011-06-23T08:11:00.000-07:00

With all the talk of presidential candidacy going around, I thought this was a timely journal entry from Jamie (February 23, 2011):

"If I were the president I would not let robbery hapen. I would fix the street. I would be a good president."

Easter reflections

2011-06-21T08:55:00.000-07:00

Here's Jamie's journal entry from April 25, the day after the Easter holiday. I like this because it displays both Jamie's desire to obey rules and to negotiate their boundaries. In the interests of maintaining fairness and general happiness at the Easter egg hunt we had instituted an egg-limit for each child:

"My weekend was good. On Saterday I went hunting for eggs. I got 23 eggs. But I had to throw 8 away. Becaus you could only have 15. But the then it went to 18." Then erased was this: "and then you could get as much as you could."

Jamie's journal

2011-06-20T12:14:00.000-07:00

Jamie had to keep a journal for school and it came home at the end of the year. There is some real genius in there so I'll be posting some examples here, spelling and grammar in tact (you will that both improved markedly over the year). Today's comes from November 10, 2010:
This will be a great day I. will hav fun at reses. I will not be coten by grels lunch will be yimy.

(He likes to run from the girls at recess.)

New sport

2011-06-20T12:05:00.000-07:00

Well, Jamie had his first basketball game on Saturday. He went to a Y sports camp last summer and did some basketball, and we've played some dribbling around in the yard, but this was his first "organized" game of any sort. It was pretty chaotic and the rest of his team is pretty young, but Jamie actually did great and was one of the better players on the team. He almost had his first shot go in and made several good defensive plays including one where he knocked a pass away, then dove on the ground to get it and passed it to a teammate from the floor.

The problem was that we were playing against a team with Shaq and Kobe. Really, they were the Lakers and they had these two just absurdly good kids who were hitting pull-up jumpers off the dribble from 10 feet and everything else they tried too. Jamie was also hampered by two tendencies that we usually like a lot. One, from soccer he is a really good passer and almost always looks to pass to an open teammate. The problem here was that either his teammate could catch the ball or Shaq stepped in and took it away. He understands the traveling and double-dribble rules very well. These were not being enforced at all in the game, however. But Jamie, rules-follower that he is," sort of self-enforced them and this put him at a disadvantage. Still great start and he had a lot of fun. Pictures in uniform to follow.

Connor enjoyed the game by the way, he got snacks afterward.

A couple more

2011-06-20T12:04:00.000-07:00

Two more Connorisms:
Wheat things (wheat thins)
And one of our faves, repeated often at the pool: "Can you unfrog my goggles?" That is to say "unfog."

More malapropisms

2011-06-07T11:47:00.000-07:00

The boys speak beautifully. Connor has already picked up on Jamie's rapidly developing vocabulary. So it's fun to hear them get things wrong in pleasing ways. Most of them are Connor's. Jamie has actually cottoned on to this and likes to catch our eye as Connor does his thing and share a subtle laugh. Here are a few:

"Dark Vader" (makes a lot of sense).
"Out of balance," instead of out of bounds, in basketball (this is Jamie's).
"Babing suits"
"Diarrhea" for Diary, as in the books "Diarrhea of a Wimpy Kid" (really changes the meaning.

And our fave, by far, just coined by Connor last night:
For couscous: "goose-goose."

Attack bunny

2011-05-22T09:23:00.000-07:00

As you may know Jamie recently earned his orange belt in tae kwan do. We have been so pleased by Jamie's enthusiasm for this. He really seems to enjoy it, loves the notions of rewards and ranks with the various belts and stripes and seems genuinely empowered by it, at least to judge by the variety of stern kicks that are delivered to the recycling bin on his way in and out of the house.

These are some pictures from the orange belt testing, which we attended. Really, it was quite impressive. Jamie has clearly learned a variety of fairly complex combinations of moves. We are also really pleased with the gentle version of tough love being practiced there and the focus on respect and attention. For his part, Connor is ready to start tae kwan do himself when he gets to Parker next year. While we were watching all the kids do their moves Connor was over on the side kicking and punching away. It was actually fairly tight in there so the spectators had to be pretty close to some of the participants, especially as the latter sat and waited their turn. Connor, being small, had gone to sit at the very front so he could see, but it also meant that he was partially out of our vision as we were in back. There was a very large teenage boy with a green belt testing and sitting right next to Connor while he waited. Well, someone else we knew there later told us that while the boy was sitting there next to him Connor had been practicing his kicks and punches on this kid who was probably literally four times larger. Apparently, the boy may have thought it was part of the test for the red belt because he just sat there stoically absorbing the blows. Perhaps it helped motivate him to break the wooden plank with a rear kick later.

Anyway, on the way home we asked Connor about it, and he happily proclaimed, "Yeah!! I totally crushed him!!" You have been warned.

Life as Connor

2011-05-22T08:48:00.000-07:00

In one sense it can be pretty tough. Pretty much whatever he does, he's got Jamie there to deal with and Jamie is hard on Connor, there's no way around it. Really doesn't give him a break about anything. Jamie got to make his 4-year-old the world is the way I say it is because I say it is proclamations free and clear, we just nodded obediently. But when Connor says anything, "17 + 15 =12" for instance, or some metaphysical equivalent of it, he has Jamie to say, "Noooo, Connoooo, it's 32." Connor tends to stick to his guns and a fight ensues.

On the other hand, Connor sometimes leads a charmed existence. We think he's irresistibly cute, of course, but we have concrete evidence that other people do as well. He just gets things. A couple of weeks ago we were at the pool and we went over to the sort of little kids area, where off at one side there was a party. Connor had barely uttered the inevitable "I'm hungry" when a darling little 3-year-old girl, the birthday girl it turns out, sidled up and said in her squeaky voice to him, "Do you want some chocolate cake?" Off they went together. Winning.

Meanwhile the other parents at baseball, and even the older sisters of the players, have discovered that you can make Connor happy by giving him things. This happens most often when he's sad about something, so I will look over from the field and see that he has scored cookies or donuts or drinks or all of the above. He has made great buddies with the younger sibling of one of the kids on Jamie's teams and before we even realized it the other day he had gone off with the parents to the snack shack and been given all manner of things.

So Jamie may give him a hard time but life as Connor can be pretty sweet.

Fighting bunny

2011-05-11T17:09:00.001-07:00

Connor is a very sweet gentle little boy. This is of course part of why we call him bunny. These days when we talk about bunnies he asks whether we mean him or the animal. Sarah said "I love you bunny" the other day and he asked this. When she said she meant him, he asked if she loved the animal bunnies as much as him. When she said no, he suggested that she should. Perhaps, she said, but I don't. He seemed partially pleased by this, while not conceding the fundamental principle.

On the other hand, he can be quite fierce and feisty for a bunny. Sarah was also toalking with him recently about what people do when they grow up. She said that people often do something they're very good at, but that they also need to practice. To Sarah's surprise Connor proclaimed, "When I grow up I want to be a soldier, because I'm very good at fighting!"

Size of the fight in the dog

2011-05-06T10:39:00.000-07:00

I'm pasting below a quote from an email Jamie's baseball coach sent to me. I think it's pretty spot-on about his performance this Spring and his personality generally:

"Jimmy is a case study in heart and in intelligence...He has no experience, he knows no one, he is on the smallish side...Yet has improved by leaps and bounds...why? Because he cares. The batting machine is scary as hell, other stronger kids throwing the ball to him at 100 mph...etc. and what does he do he grinds for every little bit of territory he can get, builds on it, never really complains...he has gotten stronger and every one has noticed..great kid"

This came in the wake of an absolutely heart-stopping game last night. Your hometown Aggies, through a bewildering combination of bad luck, loss of attention and general bumbling found themselves entering the bottom of the 6th (last inning) down 9-5. Now the rule here is that you can only score 5 runs in an inning so we knew we could just do it. The first two kids got on and the third hit a ground-ball that began one of those incredible sequences by which a series of over-throws led to him coming all the way around to score, so suddenly it's 9-8 and no outs. The next kid gets on, thanks to a bobble, and gets moved to second on a ground out. So here comes Jamie. Very quickly gets to two strikes. You can tell he knew exactly what was going on and it was very very quiet, which with 24 7-8 year-old boys and their enthusiastic parents is highly unusual. On the third pitch the kid on second stole third. Jamie digs in...and cracks the next pitch to third, bringing home the tying run and putting himself on first. He then stole second and third and I would love to bring this story home (as it were) by saying Jamie got driven in for the winning run but the next two struck out so we ended with a hard-fought tie. But Jamie was grinning from ear to ear at first base after his big hit so that's good enough!

The Dead Chicken

2011-05-04T13:57:00.000-07:00

(guest post by mommy)
Connor is, to quote his dear grandmother, a compulsive liar. I was driving him home from school today and asking questions about his day. Which apparently wasn't good; everyone was mad at him all day long. I asked him if he had a chance to feed the chickens. He had described this activity to me earlier in the week, telling me how he feeds them mud and it's disgusting. And he never never wanted to do it again. But now he's used to it so he'll do it again.

But today, he says, he did not feed the chickens, because a meteorite hit a plane then hit a chicken. And the chicken is dead. I burst out laughing, at which he reprimanded me, telling me that it's serious, the chicken is really dead. But don't worry, because the other class has chickens too, and in a couple of days, the chickens that were with the dead chicken will forget about it, and they'll put in a chicken from the other class. So the chickens won't be sad.

I didn't ask anymore questions about his day. I figured that was probably the big event.

Aggie up!

2011-04-12T09:31:00.001-07:00

Yes, our lives are ruled by baseball these days and so much the better. I will continue to try and encapsulate the season in future posts, but there is something about its epic-ness that will forever elude description. Connor has had a blast doing T-ball. He particularly excels at running around the bases. Sometimes he even touches them; other times he can't be troubled. His interest has definitely increased as the season has gone on and I think part of it has to do with going to a lot of Jamie's practices and seeing all the things the big boys do. For his part, I think going to Connor's practices has helped Jamie in turn, because he likes to feel more advanced. Typically for Jamie this manifests itself not in superiority but in wanting to help. He likes to fetch balls for the coach, and the other day he started telling the kids to "get baseball ready!!" when they were in the field. He can be very encouraging as well, saying "Great job bunny!"

Connor has become sort of the team mascot for Jamie's group, the Aggies, and it's been wonderful how this team has accepted him as a part of the family. He is an expected, if sometimes chaotic, presence in the dugout. During breaks in the practice I often send him out to run the bases and it's great hearing the kids and parents yelling for him to go faster. If we win, the kids are usually rewarded by playing kick ball at the next practice, and Connor absolutely adores this because he gets to play. Everyone is very understanding of "Connor rules," by which he basically gets to keep running whether he is "out" or not. Also that they should NOT bean him in the head with the ball like they do to each other.

It's evident too that Connor sort of idolizes the boys (Jamie included of course). The other day at a game one of them walked by and Connor turned to Sarah with wonder in his eyes and said reverently "Look Mom! There's Stevie!" It was about how one would expect somebody to act if Derek Jeter walked by. I'm certain that if Connor had known to he would have asked for an autograph. So no surprise that Connor has asked us to get him an Aggies hat so his fan-dom would be even more official.

The idolization has also affected behavior. At the end of a big Aggies win on Saturday one of the kids took a ball right in the eye. Even as it began swelling quite shockingly, he tried desperately to stay in the game, but eventually we pulled him. The next day we were playing baseball in the front yard and Connor was running while I hit the ball and Jamie tried to get him out. As he was digging hard to "first" Connor wiped out on the driveway. I could tell instantly there would be scraped knees and forearms. Now, generally, Connor falls apart at a time like this, especially at the sight of a little blood. But before I could even get there, the little guy was pulling himself up and, even as he was crying, saying "I'm OK!!! I can still play!!!" and getting in running position! Even Jamie was impressed. "Just like Ben" he said reverently, referring to his brave Aggies teammate.

Why sometimes children should be heard but not seen

2011-04-11T09:47:00.000-07:00

The boys fight constantly of course. I understand this is a fact of life and will be the case until they go to college at which point they can unite in discussing how strange their parents are. But they also play more and more these days and the moments of genuine, unaffected fun between them are heaven. Yesterday, we turned the sprinklers on in the back yard and let them run around in them since it hasn't rained in Houston in months (I'm actually not exaggerating). It was great sitting inside listening to them scream with delight. Connor also has this wonderful rippling laugh which I started to hear a lot of, so I came over to look out the window in eager anticipation of a moment of fraternal accord. What I saw, however, was Jamie sticking a plastic ball into the sprinkler then putting his lips on the ball and spluttering the liquid at Connor's face, as they both laughed riotously. Kind of wished I'd just been left with the sound of laughter.

Know thy brother, know thyself

2011-04-06T14:46:00.000-07:00

We were at a pizza restaurant last night and Connor, as usual, was charming the waitress with his cute little, cherubic face, winning smile and silliness. She asked if he was tired (we were out later the usual after a baseball game - I'll have posts about baseball soon). He said no, and she said "Really? It's very late, you must be." Connor insisted that he was not at all tired. When she turned to Jamie he said, matter of factly, "You can't trust Connor." I'm afraid he's right. Jamie is incapable of any kind of sustained dishonesty or subterfuge. He doesn't even manage to stay hidden for long in hide and seek because he feels compelled to come clean about his location. I think he's bothered when someone else stays hidden because it must feel dishonest to him. Connor, on the other hand, loves nothing more than effectively hiding and would stay there forever, particularly if he had some forbidden treat to work on.

Jamie is also getting a sense of himself. He said to me the other day "I thought I was really fast and really strong, but -------- H. (kid in his class) is much stronger and faster." I was able to point out that said child was held back a year and is almost 9, but Jamie wasn't distressed, just found it curious.

Friends for Annabelle

2011-03-30T09:06:00.000-07:00

Annabelle, our very patient cat, is much beloved by the the boys. Jamie comes out for a hug every night when he's done reading and hugs the two of us and always, religiously, Annabelle as well. Weirdly enough I get the sense that she rather likes Jamie's attention. Granted, every time he touches her she feels the need to rather furtively clean herself, but she never tries to get away from her. Even though he picks her up a lot more than she would like, he is very gentle with her. Connor is learning to be so. Annabelle has actually sat on Jamie's lap a couple of times (he was over the moon), but she does give Connor a wide berth still.

Connor would like to bring some friends for her. He's been talking about wanting a bunny for a while, which makes sense. He would also like a duck. I thought I had an easy out for this, since I pointed out that we would need water for it. Not so. "We could just buy a pond," he sensibly pointed out. Ah, OK, we'll think about the pond for Christmas.

Ladies man

2011-03-28T11:25:00.000-07:00

We are of course fascinated in watching our kids social lives. Jamie has always been so reticent, that I think we worry a bit about the degree to which other kids have to pursue his friendship a bit. We really shouldn't. They always do pursue him and it should clearly indicate to us that he knows what he is doing. There are three little girls at his old school who are absolutely adorable and who always loved Jamie. We never felt like he did enough to reward their efforts though. It seems the aloof thing works though, particularly combined with odd outbursts of very silly behavior.

We still take Jamie to the St. Catherine's soccer group on Saturday mornings with Connor. On Saturday we saw one of the girl's mothers who told us that just last week she found a letter in her daughter's room. It read: "Dear Jamie, I love you. I want to marry you but I know I can't because I am way too young. I know you don't love me, but if you start to let me know. Love, -----" (name redacted).

I will never question his methods again.

Seriously

2011-03-04T07:01:00.000-08:00

One of the current catchphrases around the house these days is "Seriously??" or "Are you serious??", both uttered with looks of utter skepticism at things they dislike.

But seriously, we have two very silly boys. This is sort of their defining personality trait I think. Jamie likes to claim that he is the silliest person in our family and very frequently asks Sarah who makes her laugh the most (guess what he wants the answer to be). Our main disciplinary issue with the two of them is simply trying to control the silly, and indicate that there are just a very few times (dinner!!) when we need them to be a little serious.

But of course they know that, it's just that they conceive of the times for seriousness differently. For instance, as this picture from our trip to New York shows, they take Lego catalogs **very** seriously. As they are doing on the train out to Westchester, they can both pore over those catalogs literally for hours, looking at them in the greatest possible, almost microscopic, detail.

The other day Jamie was telling Sarah about some aspect or other of Star Wars. She thought she was responding with appropriate interest, saying, "Yes...oh...I see." But finally Jamie looked up and said, with some exasperation, "Mom, you just don't take Star Wars seriously."

How could you???

2011-03-02T12:35:00.000-08:00

Children are fickle. No news there. But it's interesting the way it plays out. Yesterday, I picked up Jamie a little earlier than usual around 3:40. It was absolutely beautiful outside so I decided we would wash the cars, which they always enjoy. So we went to Home Depot and got a new hose and some other things we needed. The boys are ever helpful and tried to carry everything for me. Very soon it got too heavy but in case anybody doubted the effort Connor grunted his way halfway across the store with the coiled hose saying, "THIS--uhhh--IS--uhhh-SO--uhhh-HEAVY." So we got home, and I made them a snack (this is assumed) and we got ready to go outside. First Jamie got bent out of shape because he wanted to go shirtless and I said no because the sun was very bright still. Somehow this affected his sense of how wet he could get. It is also just another instance Sarah and I being blamed for the sun. Connor is very frequently frustrated by having the sun in his eyes in the car, and clearly feels one of us should move it. The sun, that is.

But we moved on and had a great time. The boys, of course, were much more interested in spraying the water than in washing the car. Almost the second we got out there Jamie took the hose and Connor began yelling "Try and get me! Try and get me!!" So Jamie sprayed him. At which point Connor yelled indignantly "Nooooooo! JAMIE!!!" and then, as if I hadn't been right there, said "Daddy! Jamie sprayed me!!" That same little scenario played out a few times until Connor got the hose and thoroughly soaked Jamie, who was very pleased. Eventually we turned the water off but they got a big thrill out of throwing the sponge into the soapy water and watching the suds splash up into the air. Soon Jamie was covered in soap. And then in a flash, they decided they were cold. Suddenly they are looking at me with this expression that asked why would a nice father make his children be freezing outside in the cold? Why?? So we went in and I made them hot chocolate, which helped, if only a little bit.

One sock wonder

2011-02-22T09:18:00.000-08:00

I don't have an explanation for this particularly, but would like to merely note a strange but insistent trend: for the past month or so Connor seems to constantly want to have one sock on. Whenever we are home, after about 20 minutes he ends up with one sock on. I think it switches which foot it's on, but there is no question this is somehow the desired state. I wonder if there is some personality trait signified by this. Any thoughts/explanations are welcome.

Breaking woobie news!

2011-02-21T06:51:00.000-08:00

Well, what you know soon after the last post, Woobie #4 has returned! It's been a good two weeks since we went to buy new woobies and lo and behold Sarah discovers #4 stashed in a basket in the living room. Connor was very pleased at its re-appearance and clearly feels not the least bit badly about having snookered us into getting him 2 more woobies. He can now have a woobie in almost every room of the house, which seems to be exactly the effect he's going for.

A tale of two woobies

2011-02-18T07:01:00.000-08:00

As many of you know, the boys are very serious about their woobies (I love incidentally that they unthinkingly call them this, which we took from Mr. Mom). Jamie has had his woobie since he was 1 and it is really a miracle that it has never been lost because we would have no idea how to replace it. He had made some noises last year about not needing it when he was 7, but he doesn't seem inclined to retire. He keeps it at home now though, even when we travel. Instead he brings his stuffed spotted leopard, "Spotty," who he says likes to go on adventures.

Connor has had his "woobie" since it was given to him as a newborn. I put it in quotes because in fact his woobie has been a bit like the Dread Pirate Roberts or Menudo: a slot to filled by successive individuals. A few weeks ago he took the woobie somewhere and it just disappeared. Fortunately, we know very well where to get another one, having replaced it, by my count, four times already. The folks at the store were impressed by this and asked where we'd lost them. As best I can figure it was 1) a rest stop in Tennessee 2) the doctor's office 3)Bed bath and beyond and 4) Jamie's school. So now we're on woobies 5 and 6, having bought a backup. Happily Connor doesn't seem to mind the switch. Except that he likes to have both now, which may end up defeating the spare strategy.

Bacon!!

2011-02-16T20:22:00.000-08:00

Connor is very fickle about eating. Not picky so much as just unpredictable. He seems to go days eating very little and then occasionally just goes crazy and eats everything in sight. He often claims to be very very hungry after dinner, whether he's eaten or not. Recently this happened and Sarah offered him a snack. He said, "No, I want two big peanut butter and jellys. And salmon. And beans. And grapes. And an orange." And there he sat for the next 45 minutes and consumed every bite.

One constant, however, is that he has been on a real tear with the bacon lately. A few weeks ago we went to San Antonio. We found an IHOP express and in essence he got a side of pancakes to go with his main course of bacon. When I asked him what he wanted for lunch a few hours later he said one word: "Bacon." When the same thing happened at dinner I drew the line until the next morning when we were back at IHOP.

Another time of great hunger is immediately after school. soon after San Antonio he got in the car and announced to me that he wanted a hangubber. OK I said and thinking I would please him asked if he wanted a bacon cheesegubber. "NO!!!" I was told, "I want a hangubber." There was then a pause and he said, "With bacon and cheese and bacon and chicken. And ketchup." OK, I said. Fortunately he was too busy with the bacon to notice the lack of chicken.

Snow day?

2011-02-04T07:03:00.000-08:00

Well, technically speaking that's what we've got. All the schools are closed today because of this freakish climate change-induced winter weather we're having in Houston. The boys are pleased enough about the day off, but feeling a little cheated because there has been talk all week of snow, snow, snow. Jamie had heard at school that the snow was going to start at 5:00 last night so he was literally counting down the minutes to 5. Which came and went with no snow. He then began impatiently demanding of Sarah and I, "When is it going to snow?" "Why isn't it snowing?" "Why is it hard to say". He went to the window all night until bed checking and then tasked me with checking and reporting once he went to bed. But still no snow. And this morning he jumped out of bed at the stroke of seven, stepped on my head (we were having a sleepover) claimed up the window sill to see...nothin. Not a flake. Poor guy.

So now the roads in Houston are closed until noon tomorrow so we're not going anywhere. As this goes to press it is 9:00 in the morning and they are already literally bouncing off the walls. Anyone want to come over?

Our little Stashu

2011-01-19T07:38:00.000-08:00

We had a great Christmas vacation with lots of time with the boys. It was a bit of an adventure at times. Sarah's parents flew in a couple of days before Christmas and arrived to see Connor with a freshly shaved head. Poor little guy had gotten a case of head lice, which has apparently been rampant in the schools this year. He had so much hair that it quickly became clear that shaving was the only real option. He was apprehensive at first but actually adapted surprising quickly. The first picture is actually a few days later and the one of him sleeping is from two nights ago, but you get a sense of the look.

The only thing he really didn't like was the nickname he acquired. On Christmas Eve we had a traditional Eastern European meal of pierogies and kielbasa. Well, little Connor got a serious eating on. He always likes the meat but he started really stuffing the piergoies in as well. Somehow, sitting there munching pierogies, with his bald head and light skin and blue eyes, his Polish heritage really became visible so we started calling him "Stashu" and it stuck. It just comes off the tongue easily when you see him these days. Too easily, in fact, because you really can't say it within earshot or you will earn an angry look and an assertive "I'M NOT STASHU!!!" Fair enough. We're willing to respect this since he still lets us call him Bunny.

Cute and scary

2011-01-17T09:20:00.000-08:00

Since I wrote about Connor's predilection for playing the role of baby animals, we have been a family of peacocks, stegasaurauses, lions and T-Rexes. These latter two are interesting. Connor has that child's fascination with meat-eating animals, perhaps in part because he is one (he would eat bacon morning, noon and night if we let him!). But there is of course terror. On a trip to school last month he started asking about whether lions eat people. Not usually, I said, trying to downplay it. But he insisted and I had to agree that sometimes, under certain unusual circumstances, lions might eat people. There was a pause while he thought about this. Then his knowledge of the continents served him well, because he asked if there were any lions in North America. No, I said happily. We agreed they were only in Africa. Wanting to nip any concerns in the bud I did mention that there were mountain lions in North America, but we agreed they didn't eat people. He then got a little concerned and wondered whether the lions eat giraffes (he likes giraffes a lot, even if he sometimes calls them zebras). I dodged this a bit by saying that giraffes were too big (no mention of baby giraffes!). He pondered all of this a bit and was quiet on the last few minutes of the trip. But then, as I got him out of the car, he said with great seriousness, "Dad, I don't EVER want to go to Africa!" I nodded, but he wanted a very direct and clear assurance that I understood.

So it's funny then to see him playing the role of the baby carnivore. He doesn't sugar-coat it either. One of the things we're supposed to do when he's being a baby animal is feed him the appropriate food. So when he's a carnivore he shows up in the kitchen, bowl in hand, with a very sweet baby animal expression on his cherubic little face, and says, in his sweet baby animal voice..."BLOOD!!! BLOOD!!" It's a bit disconcerting to be honest.

Ewww!

2011-01-06T07:50:00.001-08:00

The boys are in the dread-of-kissing stage. It started last summer when Jamie informed me that I could hug him outside the building when I dropped him off for camp, but no kisses. This soon turned into a general prohibition and Connor has adopted it as well.

Both boys are proud of the fact that they don't get scared by movies. They have seen the Indiana Jones movies and they protested vociferously at our insistence on fast-forwarding through the face melting part in Raiders of the Lost Ark. To be fair, they have been totally unaffected by any of the rest of the movies except for: the kissing scenes. These elicit howls and they cover their eyes so as not to be tainted. Sarah and I can send them into fits of horrors by kissing now.

Baby animals

2011-01-06T07:37:00.000-08:00

Connor is in that funny phase of four-year oldness when he is both increasingly independent and still wants to be a baby in some ways. We could NEVER, of course, call him "baby brother" or any such thing. He wants always to be with Jamie and the big kids and is desperate to keep up with them.

But at the same time he loves to be a baby animal. It's very funny the way the whole thing plays out. Lately he's been a baby stegosaurus (that's the preferred dinosaur of late) and we have to watch him hatch from his egg, narrating the whole time ("Look, I see a leg!") Sometimes, then he can't walk, because he'll explain, "My legs are brand new!" He is often the usual things like a puppy and a kitten, but has also been, all within the last month: a baby sea lion, a baby giraffe, a baby eagle, a baby peacock, a baby bird generally, a baby elephant, a baby monkey, and perhaps strangest of all, a baby vulture.

It's nice when he does this actually because he allows us to hug him (never kisses!) in our role as parent vultures, and we very rarely get to do this as humans because in this role he is such a big boy and that would cramp his style.

It's funny how much more focused on animals he is than Jamie. He has these two pillow pets, a bee and a polar bear and he sleeps every night on the polar bear. It's perhaps the cutest thing in the world to see him snuggled up on that bear with his woobie close by.

He'll be here all month

2011-01-06T07:27:00.000-08:00

One of the things we adore about Jamie is that he is so ready to laugh. Sometimes it can be a little weird because he can be in the midst of crying, find something irresistibly funny, laugh very genuinely about it and then go right back to the tears. But most of the time he is just on the lookout for surprising and funny situations and he finds them everywhere. Many include the cat. I heard him talking about her once and it sounded like he had said "Animal" instead of "Annabelle". I said this and he instantly started laughing hilariously and has been calling her "Animal" ever since. Then, better still, just before Christmas we were in the car with Nana and Pops. Suddenly from the back, where she is sitting with Jamie, Sarah says, "Oh Leo! I forgot to tell you that Animal threw up on your jeans!" Now, Jamie is already laughing hard. "Oh," I said, "the ones I'm wearing now?!!" Jamie is now completely dying. Funniest thing he's ever heard. Still laughs about that.

Jamie has also turned into quite the little comic and perhaps likes making other people laugh even more than laughing himself. Interestingly he's quite good at it. For camp last summer they had a talent show. We were fascinated to know what Jamie might do and he told us he would tell jokes. So he tried them out on us and they were really not funny. But at the camp? He killed. Absolutely killed. Here's his closer: "Why did the chicken cross the road? To save the world!!!" Killed with it. The moral of the story is you have to know your audience, and 5-10 year-olds are a much better audience than Sarah and I.

Christmas 2010

2010-12-26T12:04:00.000-08:00

It was a grand day indeed. Jamie woke up on Christmas Eve saying he wanted to go to bed right away so Santa would come sooner (I'm not sure what would have happened if we'd tried to put that into practice.). But we counted the hours down by watching NORAD's Santa tracker throughout the day and this year they both went to bed right on time so as not to risk being naughty. There was some concern because there are some little girls on our street and there was a fear that Santa might mix them up and bring the boys princess dolls or some such horror.

But happily Santa nailed it as usual and the boys were very pleased with their loot. They managed not to get up too early, with Jamie waking around 6:30 and Connor soon after. The bunny was a little cranky at first and I think may have forgotten it was Christmas but as soon as his eyes scanned the room full of presents he perked right up and it was on. Most of their presents had been unwrapped before it was light out. For Jamie the big item was a Nerf gun (shoots soft darts with surprising velocity). He has actually handled this responsibility well, meaning that he hasn't been shooting Connor with it. Connor got a smaller version and a number of other things. Curiously, he greatest excitement was opening his stocking when he found a Matchbox old-time pickup truck. Frankly it was a bit of throw-in, but the minute he saw it proclaimed "Ohhh!! It's just what I always wanted!!!"

The rest of the day was pretty good, there was only limited crashing and most of the toys managed to make it through the day without breaking so all in all a success!

The Reader

2010-12-26T11:54:00.000-08:00

I don't why we don't pick up on this pattern until after the fact, but Jamie has once again disproved the notion that you have to walk before you can run. Just as he waited to walk until he was an absolute expert and could zip off in a hurry, Jamie seems to have waited to start reading until he could read almost anything. The penny has dropped suddenly and he is a reading machine, tearing through one chapter book after another.

This has coincided with and partially contributed to a shift in sleep patterns. It used to be that Jamie would drop off to sleep the second he got in bed and Connor would be awake for hours. Now, having done with naps, Connor tends to sack out very quickly, while Jamie will now lie in bed and read for hours if we let him.

Snippets from the road

2010-12-05T19:38:00.000-08:00

I obviously have a lot of material to catch up on, going back to Halloween and Jamie's birthday, so I'll try to get some of that up soon. For the moment, I'll just offer a few details from our Thanksgiving travels.

First of all, I will say that the boys are really seasoned, skilled travelers. As should any traveler, they learn from past experiences and plan accordingly to avoid discomfort. Thus, at the very beginning of the trip, Jamie counseled all of us, but Connor in particular, NOT to sit at the back of the shuttle bus from the parking lot. As he learned this can lead to carsickness and vomiting while waiting in the check-in line (good times!). So, wisely they sat in front and all was well. Also pleasing is that some line has been crossed and the boys have actually become a help, at least some of the time, in carrying the masses of stuff we need to bring. Jamie likes pulling a suitcase on wheels very much and so Connor has to as well, which is a bit of an adventure, but the fact is, it made things genuinely easier. Granted they tend to weave a rather twisted line through the airport, so we don't move too fast but it certainly beats Sarah and I lugging three bags each. Once we got on the plane, the boys both settled in immediately with their entertainment devices and snacks and were as happy as clams. Connor as usual asked about the plane "blasting off" and I had to hush them a bit because as we were just about to "blast off" they began saying gleefully, "We're gonna blow!!!!" Makes people nervous.

Connor also produced a couple of funny neo-logisms along the way. First of all, he kept asking if we were in Baltimore yet, except he struggled with the name so started calling it "Voldemort," from Harry Potter. So of course soon we were all talking about going to Voldemort. Second, he christened the headsets for watching movies "earrings." Picture this said about 50 times: "Daddy! My earrings fell out again!" Grrr. Once we got to Voldemort (Frederick really) he saw some horses pulling a carriage down the street. Remembering that we had seen something similar in Houston as well, he remarked intelligently, "Those must be very energetic horses to have come all the way from Houston!"

But really travel was simple and we had a great time at Nonni and Diddy's. They had a great time raking leaves then jumping in the pile and also discovered a "secret garden" in Nonni's backyard. "Do you think she knows about it?" Jamie asked me in a hushed tone. Given that she built it with her own hands, I assured him, yes.

Time and space

2010-11-13T11:01:00.000-08:00

As with many four-year-olds, Connor's sense of these things in very much still in development. About a month ago, Pops was coming through Houston on business and stopped by. Now, we had already told them some time ago that Nana and Pops were coming for Christmas. At this point, about September, Connor had said, eagerly, "Is Christmas TOMORROW???" This is about the conception of things he has, today and tomorrow. Anyway, when Pops walked through the door a couple of weeks later, Connor turned to us, his face bright with glee, and said "Is it Christmas???!!!"

Similarly, for all of his ongoing fascination with the continents his sense of place is a little vague too. There is constant confusion between the categories of North America, the United States, Texas, Houston and our neighborhood. Because he knows that we are in North America, for instance, he assumes that other things similarly favored by geography must be quite close. Thus, he other day he and Sarah were at a doctor's appointment. The office was up on the fifth floor so they had quite a good view of the tall buildings in the Medical Center, about a mile away. Connor became quite excited and proclaimed loudly, "Look!!! New York City!!!" If only it were true...

Sick again!

2010-11-10T14:09:00.000-08:00

Well, as I write this I am home again with a sick Connor. Poor little guy has had a rough Fall so far. He got sick Saturday night, was out of school Monday, seemed better Tuesday but is back under the weather again today. Hopefully, he's getting it out of his system before the holidays.

We've had a nice day together, if somewhat disjointed. First, we spent some time sitting on the couch this morning watching a movie. He was on a Motrin high for a while and seemed almost like normal. He spent a good 20-30 minutes playing with Jamie's Star Wars legos. Suffice it to say Jamie keeps a very close eye on Connor while he's around so unimpeded access to the Legos is rare and Connor was clearly enjoying it. I played with him for a while and then went to do some other stuff. When I came back I remembered why Jamie is so watchful. Connor does rather like to destroy the Legos. This creates two related emotions for me: one is fear, because I know if I don't get them fixed we will all feel Jamie's wrath. Two is the dread of fixing them. Just getting them built is one thing but having to re-do the process is almost worse. So I quickly dealt with the carnage and encouraged Connor to be a little more gentle.

It was a nice morning so I thought we'd head to the zoo. Connor fell asleep within moments of getting in the car so I spent a good bit of time sitting in the parking lot listening to him snore. Then he woke up, looked around and asked imperiously "Why are we sitting here??!!!" He refused to believe that he had been asleep, so I let it drop and in we went. It was soon apparent however that the Motrin was wearing off because he was walking around hunched over and shivering a little. So I gave him some more medicine and he sat on my lap and snuggled up to me. This was lovely and lasted for about 10 minutes at which point the Motrin clearly kicked in because his head popped up suddenly and he said "I feel better. Can you stop snuggling me now?!" So we went to see birds, lions, and tigers. Connor's favorite part is seeing where they all live. Still likes to talk about the continents, our little fellow.

So we came home, had some lunch and played some games. Connor beat me in two out of three games in Sorry! He is really pretty good at it, but of course gets mad when he doesn't win or when something bad happens. Eventually it all came to a head when we were well into a game of Candyland. He got sent back to the beginning and almost the next turn I got the much-coveted ice cream float card, which puts you very near the end. This was too much to bear. He stomped off into the other room and it got quiet. I went to see him and he was lying on the couch with his woobie. It was expressed fairly clearly that my company was not desired so I went into the other room to do a little work. After I didn't hear anything for a few minutes I went to check and he was sound asleep, as he remains now an hour later. It's hard to be a sick bunny!!

Sick boy!

2010-10-20T06:57:00.000-07:00

Poor Connor has had a tough week. He got sick last Tuesday, missed a couple of days, went back Friday and then had a good weekend, but got sent home again Monday with a fever. Inevitably, we took him to the doctor to be told what we could have guessed: it's a virus and we have to wait it out. Thanks for that. So we've been home with him all week. He has a couple of good hours when the Motrin is working but otherwise there's not much he can do. The only plus of this, and I feel guilty calling it that, is that he gets pretty snuggly.

Nights have been long too because the fever wakes him up but when the medicine kicks in he seems to get an energy jolt and has trouble getting back to sleep. Last night he was due to get medicine at about 10:45 so I was waiting up to give it to him. He emerged at 10:30, however, crying and hot with fever. Once I calmed him down enough to understand him, he told me he was scared because there were "bad guys in his room." All my assurances to the contrary were not enough to calm him down. Worse, he told me, was that Asajj Ventress (an evil character from The Clone Wars spinoff series from Star Wars) was trying to get his woobie! Evil indeed. I told him that was just a dream and he angrily said, "No! It was real!"

So he said he wanted to go into mommy's bed, which he's done a couple of times this week. This can be very cozy at times but often doesn't lead to a lot of sleep for mommy, so I offered to pull a mattress into their room and sleep there. This immediately calmed him down. It ended up being a long night, but it is awfully nice to know that one's presence alone is enough to chase away the bad guys and woobie-stealers.

Readers and writers

2010-10-14T09:44:00.000-07:00

Things continue to go well with school for both boys. While we do have some concerns over the possibility that there is too much "teaching to the test" going on at Jamie's school, there is no question that he is learning a great deal and excelling. It shouldn't surprise us by now, but Jamie's reading has followed his usual pattern: just like he waited to walk until he could almost run, he took a long time to start reading but is now plowing ahead full steam. He's always been great with numbers but it's wonderful to see him working through some pretty advanced reading. It also makes sense in retrospect that he took a while to do it but now works really quickly, because while he can certainly sound some things out, he doesn't usually work that way. Rather he seems to read by word recognition and contextual interpretation. I think he's been storing this stuff up for the past 5 years and now has enough that he feels able to succeed. He does not like embarking on things with uncertain outcomes.

For his part Connor is proceeding by leaps and bounds this year and is now almost obsessively concerned with writing. He learns to write in cursive at school and can render his name wonderfully in cursive, but just lately almost anytime he is able to he grabs a pen and paper and starts writing block letters. Yesterday he was home sick from school and we spent an hour with him just writing each of our first names and last name (including Annabelle). Eventually I think he got tired and started to struggle a little. It's clearly an emotionally charged exercise because at some point he messed up the "b" in Annabelle, he just wailed "I can't do it!!!!!" and started bawling. In typical Connor fashion, too, sometimes he just decides to write an "E" as an "M". Don't be picky.

Species confusion

2010-10-14T09:39:00.000-07:00

Connor continues to go blithely through life calling things by the wrong name. In one sense, we look back and laugh at the way he used to look at a zebra and say "Giraffe!" But in another sense it really hasn't changed. We went for a nature walk the other weekend when it finally got nice in Houston and some passed us on a trail and said they had seen an armadillo. The boys were pleased by this prospect, so we walked on a few yards to go see if we could find one. Connor then points to an ant in the trail and says, very loudly, "OH!! Is that an armadillo??!!!"

It's not that he doesn't get it I think, it's just that he wants to be able to call things what he wants them to be. In the same vein he wants distant events to be tomorrow. So it's been Christmas tomorrow for about a month now.

More Con-neologisms

2010-10-06T19:10:00.000-07:00

It's been hard to decide when to actually post this because Connor just keeps busting out brilliant neologisms. But here's the latest batch:

Sarah took the boys to get a icy drink the other day. To be fair, these get called a few different things, from smoothie, to slurpee, to icee, so Connor has produced a couple of names for them, which also capture some important qualities: "Flushee," and "Slicee".

The other day Sarah was confused because he kept asking her about sea eagles. Eventually she figured out he meant "seagulls". Quite clever that one.

Last night he informed us that the dinosaurs "probably died when the earth was hit by a metium."

More Connor-speak

2010-10-01T21:34:00.000-07:00

Another good neologism today, referring to a fruit: Africots.

No words

2010-09-28T09:26:00.000-07:00

Connor views bedtime sort of like the curtain call to a daylong performance. He likes to make many return appearances. One of his excuses for coming back out is to claim that he has a question to ask, something he's learned from Jamie. As with his older brother, moreover, if he doesn't really have a question he'll just make one up. Thus, for instance, he likes to ask "Do you know that fire can beat lightning?" This then takes on a ritualistic aspect and is repeated on a nightly basis.

In a (futile) effort to forestall this I took for some time to asking him while I was in his room still whether he had anything to ask. I think he sensed this strategy required a new response, so one night he said, "Yes. My question has no words." And then he stared significantly at me for a few seconds and said, "There. That's it." I was taken aback at first but now we do this most nights. I stare back at him and say "That's the answer."

Connor-sick

2010-09-19T19:17:00.000-07:00

The last couple of weeks things have gotten pretty good with the boys' relationship. For a long time we have felt that the more the played together, the more they fought. Lately however, that's changed. Perhaps it's because they argue more or less continuously and so couldn't do it any more, but the fighting does seem to have leveled off, even as they have been playing more and better.

Jamie seems to finally see Connor as a potential partner in fun, and, while he is still pretty hard on the little guy, he is capable of great kindness towards him as well. The other day we were at a cross-walk downtown and Jamie just walked up behind Connor and gave him a real hug. Whenever he does this, or asks Connor to play, Connor's face lights up like the sun.

Last weekend we were all planning to go out to a nature preserve on the Katy Prairie, but Jamie got a last-minute invitation from a boy at school he's becoming quite chummy with. Connor was very unhappy he couldn't go to the party, but he and I went off to the Prairie anyway. It's quite a drive out there, so Jamie and Sarah were home for a good while before Connor and I got back. After a couple hours, Jamie announced that he was "Connor-sick," as in "home-sick."

Tsunami anyone?

2010-09-19T19:05:00.000-07:00

Connor has a wonderful approach to language. Like so many children he is a sponge, picking up expressions from Sarah and me, and Jamie of course, and TV and movies. Just today as he and Jamie were play fighting Connor told his brother he was a "miscreant." What's great about him, however, is that he is very un-self-conscious in trying out new vocabulary. He doesn't always pay a great deal of attention to whether he is particularly right. He used to do this with animals a lot. Upon seeing a giraffe, he would happily exclaim, "Look!!! A zebra!" and be totally unconcerned when corrected. Even now, he blithely calls dinner breakfast and lunch dinner. Sometimes one doesn't know whether he's mixing words up or just being eccentric. Ask him what he wants on a hot dog, for instance, " and he'll say "Ummmm. Ketchup...and pickles...and CHICKEN!"

Lately he has had a number of great malapropisms and idiomatic expressions. Here's a sampling:

Waffle = "Muffle". As in, "I want a muffle for breakfast."
Sneakers = "Fast shoes"
Fast = Speed, as in "I can run SO speed!!!!"
Aisle = Style
Hamburger = "Hang-ubber" (Cheeseburger, "cheese-gubber")
Burritos = "Doritos"
Pajama tops = "Topping" as in "I don't want to wear a topping to bed!"

And our personal fave:
Salami = "Tsunami"

What's bad about this is that they are so cute, and we know how soon they will be gone, that we not only don't correct them, but actively encourage them: "Who wants tsunami for lunch?"

Fair play

2010-09-05T06:27:00.000-07:00

Jamie gives Connor a pretty hard time. He wins every game they play, every race they run and is perpetually correcting how Connor plays, sings, talks and quotes movies (an important skill around here). Connor's opportunities for revenge are few and to be honest he's such a good-natured little fellow, and adores Jamie so much, that he rarely takes them.

A few days ago, however, the bath afforded an opportunity for a little gentle payback. Jamie has this squirty fish he plays with in the bath. He likes to set up targets and knock them down. Connor very rarely gets to use the fish. In this case Jamie tried to soften the blow for Connor by telling him he would be the judge in Jamie's game. Actually this was somewhat sensitive because his impulse would initially have been to have a squirt fight with Connor, which the latter would inevitably lose. The game was to squirt a particular tile on the wall from some distance. Jamie would get points for hitting it and the tile would get points if he missed and Connor would judge whether the tile had been hit.

Jamie, making some gesture to give Connor a stake in the game, asked how many ("how much" in Jamie speak) points he would get for hitting the tile. "Ummmm....Forty!!!" answered Connor. Then Jamie asked how many points the tile would get if he missed. I could see Connor's mind working but was surprised when he said, "Ummmm.... Two...hundred...and.... fifty-thousand!!! Jamie didn't quite know what to make of this and so pressed on, only to discover that within moments, even after some fairly accurate squirting, he was down 500,000 points to 120. He proclaimed "Connoo!!! That's not fair!" With a rather enormous grin, Connor answered, "Yes it is! That's why I'm the judge."

Day one and no drama

2010-08-24T09:35:00.000-07:00

Well, Jamie's first day seemed to go well. When I picked him up, he was extremely calm. There was some question about materials to come home and I think he wasn't sure exactly what he was supposed to have and whether he had forgotten something. Interestingly, he got just ever-so slightly teary as he tried to sort this out, which was I think just some of the emotion of the day coming out. Turns out it was our fault, we were supposed to send him with a back-pack, so on the plus side he ended up with something to reprove us with.

Anyway, we have seen that the general rule is that the boys still us very little about school and this held true. You can well imagine I was beside myself waiting for details but not much came. But I asked how it was and he said firmly, if succinctly, "good." I asked if he had made friends and he said yes and named the boy who sits next to him. He likes his teacher he says and that's about what I got. Not worst fears realized by any stretch.

Drop off today went smoothly as well, there was no sense of not wanting to go back and, to his credit, he has not mentioned his old school once. I even got to hug him before he went in to the class.

And they're off...

2010-08-23T07:43:00.000-07:00

The boys are at school as we speak. Jamie seemed to do just fine. He was a little nervous clearly but not overwhelmingly so. He has informed us that he wants to be James at school and Sarah, hoping against hope asked if she could kiss him when she dropped him off. You can guess the answer.

We stuck around for a parent info session after we dropped him off and found an excuse to walk by the classroom. As it happened, they were lining up in the hallway to use the bathroom. Jamie saw us but played it very cool as we walked past, watching us but otherwise giving nothing else away. As it happened, the door we were going to exit by was closed, so we had to walk back by. He was similarly reserved when we walked by, but we wondered if he was beginning to fear we were going to do that all day. Which of course we'd like to.

For his part Connor was not thrilled, but it was a more of a I-don't-feel-like-doing-this reaction than any anxiety. He did claim he didn't like school because his teacher gets mad at him. The love-fest that the two of them put on every time we see them tells a different story.

First impressions

2010-08-20T14:05:00.000-07:00

We went with Jamie to look at his new school and talk to his teacher yesterday. Sarah and I are both anxious about this, more than I think would even be normal in such a case, because he was so settled at a previous school. We decided to walk, in part because we are so pleased we can walk, and on the way he asked again in a very good-natured way about why he wasn't going back to St. Catherine's. We went over it with him and he pretty much accepted what we said.

When we got to school, it was very crowded and chaotic, but aside from slipping his little hand it ours occasionally Jamie betrayed no discomfort. We got to his classroom and he immediately walked all around looking at everything. We met his teacher and he was a little shy but responsive. His biggest thrill was discovering that there was a package of school supplies waiting for him and that he would have a table space all his own that he would keep throughout the year. When we were walking away he said he liked the classroom. My heart leapt. Then when we got home he immediately wanted to look through the supplies, which he did with great attentiveness. So, so far so good.

More from the swimmer

2010-08-18T20:53:00.001-07:00

Connor keeps asking to go to the pool this week. Unfortunately, it is now on late summer hours and so is only open on weekends. But it's clear his swimming success is on the little guy's mind. He announced to Sarah today that when he grows up he wanted to be a lifeguard. She encouraged him and, thinking it would further reinforce it, told him she had been a lifeguard too. He was not pleased, however. His face went pensive and then he announced he wanted to be a doctor...and a swimmer.

The swimmer

2010-08-17T06:24:00.000-07:00

It is amazing with kids how some things seem to to happen over night. At the beginning of the summer Connor seemed ages away from swimming on his own. He was a good little soldier in swim lessons, but was still very apprehensive about being in the water and showed no signs of being able to keep afloat on his own, let alone get from one place to another. All summer he's been in a swim vest, which works great, but we did wonder if it was good to have him relying on that. Since we went to Nonni and Diddy's in June he has been very brave about jumping in the water by himself, which we took as a good sign. And then, just in the past three weeks, he has started wearing goggles and putting his face in the water while he paddles along. Then, the other day we went to the Y which doesn't allow swim vests. Well, little bunny just launched himself off the steps put his face in the water paddled around and swam back to the steps! Bunny can swim! He proceeded to swim back and forth between us about 100 times, all with a gigantic grin on his face.

He now seems to advancing every time he gets in the water. He looks like a little fish, twisting this way and that to look around under water and turning around and changing directions in a flash. He can really motor along surprisingly fast. Best of all, though, is the fact that he can now jump into the water by himself, come up, and swim to the side. This really augurs a new era of parental bliss: from the moment Jamie was born Sarah has has ongoing nightmares about drowning. They will not ever go away completely, and we will remain vigilant, but there's no denying the progress.

Update on camp

2010-08-10T21:05:00.000-07:00

I was worried all day Monday after Jamie had been so anxious when we got to camp. Of course he got home and all was fine. Any nervousness was a distant memory.

The big topic of conversation was a boy named Andre, who Jamie said was "cool." Curious about what makes a 6-year-old cool to a 6-year old, Sarah asked why this was so. Jamie said it was because he has sports glasses and brings different legos to camp every day. "Everybody likes him," we were informed. Sure enough when Sarah went to pick them up today there was Connor bunny-hopping along behind Andre.

The Sleeper

2010-08-10T15:45:00.000-07:00

I'm going to let the photos tell the story on this one. Some of you have probably seen some of these pictures before but I think seeing them together is even better. Connor, like many children, never admits to being tired. As these pictures suggest, he can be very persistent in holding to this claim even to the end. One of the things you'll notice, is that he likes to read in bed. Which is funny, because it's dark in there and he can't really read.

Change is a-comin'

2010-08-09T12:01:00.000-07:00

Jamie has seemed quite reconciled to the fact that he is starting a new school this Fall. Perhaps surprisingly, I think that it actually helps that Connor is going to be at their old school still. This means that Jamie can think of it as a little-kids situation, just like when he left pre-school for St. C's.

But I think there is some anxiety. He won't say so exactly, but it may be emerging in other ways. Last week they went to a baseball camp in the mornings. Both seemed to enjoy it well enough, though Connor claimed otherwise, as always. It's not clear exactly how much baseball they actually played, since it was very hot and they also seem to have spent a lot of time on the playground, but whatever; it's all good. Jamie says he didn't do that well hitting because they threw underhand and he is better with overhand.

Anyway, this week Jamie is doing basketball and Connor soccer. Jamie had been initially extremely favorable about basketball, I think because he hears about me playing. But suddenly this weekend he became apprehensive, saying he was a little scared to start a new class at camp. When I took them this morning, it was a little chaotic and Jamie, quite uncharacteristically these days, was clearly anxious. I sat with them until the counselors got everybody together. Jamie was tearing up a little, but he was being so brave, he was really fighting it off and trying to stay cool. I think that this is really a bit of new school anxiety coming out with the camp, but I'm really impressed at how he's handling it, so I think that bodes well.

D-fence!

2010-07-27T11:26:00.000-07:00

One of Jamie's favorite things about or visit to Nana and Pops was playing checkers. Jamie enjoys games greatly and is getting better. The problem is that he has no concept of playing defense. In tic-tac-toe, for instance, he just barrels ahead trying to get three in a row, regardless of what his opponent is doing and this is pretty much how he approaches chess and checkers.

He did, however, reveal an interesting strategy yesterday after camp. It seems they have been playing dodge-ball at camp and he LOVES it. He excitedly told his strategy: "I like to wait at the back until all my teammates are out and then I am the only hope." I think that this is the combination of a)time spent with Luke Skywalker and Star Wars and b) our games of freeze tag in the back yard. When we played with a couple of Jamie's friends and Connor I would make sure to freeze everybody except one so that that person got to save everybody else. It started as way to get Connor some cred with the big boys but Jamie in particular really likes be the last hope.

Swimming with my homies

2010-07-27T10:55:00.000-07:00

When I look back on this summer with the boys, I will definitely picture them against the backdrop of a pool. While Sarah was gone and the boys weren't in camp we got into a good rhythm during the day. We would either go to the Zoo or do some errands in the morning, come back for lunch and then watch a little TV in the early afternoon while it was still hot. Then we went to the Y where I would work out while they went to the kid's area.

Then we would ether go out to the pool at the Y or come home and go to our pool for the rest of the afternoon. Each has its virtues so we tended to switch back and forth to avoid excessive repetition. The boys have been playing really nicely at the pool, and actually doing it together sometimes. Connor really loves it when the stand on the edge of the pool inside an inner tube and jump in simultaneously. Sometimes they also jump into the center of the tube when it's in the water. Connor is actually very good at this, except every so often he misses, hits the edge of the tube and bounces off head over heels into the water.

This freaks him out a bit, of course, but he has gotten so brave. He still wears a swim vest but is working hard on swimming with his face under water, which is a big milestone. Just before Sarah got back he started jumping in the water by himself too. He had never done it, but one day we went tot he pool and as soon as I got the vest on him and told him it was OK to get in, he just launched himself. I think he was emboldened during our visit to Nonni and Diddy's. There, too, we went to a pool every afternoon and it had a short (~6 feet) water slide. Jamie, of course, was all over it, going down feet first, head first, on his tummy on his back, you name it. Connor clearly wanted to do it but I didn't know if he could bring himself to actually take the plunge. But after some hemming and hawing and encouragement from Jamie ("Just go Connoooo!") he did and came tumbling out of the slide with really shocking velocity. I caught him and he looked a little freaked and cried and said he didn't want to do it again. But by the time we'd gotten to the side of the pool (about 3 seconds) he was ready to go again and never looked back.

At the Y pool there is a gently sloped shallow area and the boys also loved running into this and then splashing headfirst and swimming to me. We did this for hours and hours. It developed a kind of ritual aspect for Connor. It started when he would stand outside the pool and ask me to count for him to go. I did this with my fingers because it was noisy. So I would count to increasingly high numbers and off he would go. By the time we got to about 25 he got bored waiting so he started saying "count to this" and holding up his fingers in various strange hand shapes. So I would have to replicate that shape exactly or else he would not go and soon become angry with me. I think it must have looked a little like I was holding up gang signs to him. Hey, Connor is street. And he speaks French.

Fly boys

2010-07-02T20:48:00.000-07:00

The boys and I had a great visit to Nonni and Diddy's last week. As almost always happens when we travel the boys were complemented for their good behavior on the plane. They really are very good travelers. When we were sitting waiting to taxi away from the gate Connor started saying "Daddaaaa? Are we blasting off yet??!!!" Jamie of course, having snagged the window seat, said with his wise, impatient older brother voice: "No Connooo. We're still on the ground."

Then when we did blast off it was rather a bumpy ride for the first few minutes. I wasn't sure how they would react but they loved it, especially Connor. The bigger the bump the more heartily he would laugh. He started calling it the "Humpty-Dumpties." The whole ride back, which was rather smoother, he kept asking for more and bigger humpty-dumpties.

Anyway, on the way up, as we were bucking around during "blast-off," Jamie, with a great big grin, suddenly says, not at all quietly, "It's OK everyone, don't panic!!!" This actually broke the tension on the plane a bit and there was general mirth, which encouraged them both to keep saying it to even greater hilarity.

Their positive attitude to travel is helped of course by the fact that the answer to almost any question concerning snacks or treats is a big yes. Jamie got a packet of Skittles, which featured a Charlie and the Chocolate Factory style promotion by which if you find a golden skittle you win $10,000. Jamie was immediately obsessed and convinced he would find one (I'm afraid this optimism comes from his mother). He was so sweet about it though. There is a Star Wars lego set of the Battle of Endor that he wants for his birthday. He knows it costs $100 so he said he would just take that and then give Sarah and I the rest. Then he thought about and said, "I could probably buy 10 Battle of Endors! Then I'd give you the rest!"

It begins...

2010-06-30T05:57:00.000-07:00

Jamie has gotten to be such a big boy. On the one hand it makes things very easy. He absolutely loves going to cap and had none of the apprehension in going back after two weeks that I expected. He even helped reassure Connor about it a little. But this comes at a price. He has started demanding that I only hug him outside the camp building. "And no kisses!!" he says. Ouch. As soon as we walk in the building he shoots off without a look back at me. Makes me appreciate Connor's clinginess a little.

3-year-old being a 3-year-old

2010-06-20T16:40:00.000-07:00

The boys had a great weekend with Auntie Meg. They were extremely excited for her visit and were counting down the hours until she came on Friday. Except that Connor hasn't quite mastered the idea of which numbers are smaller than others so he kind of counted up to it. Whatever.

Today we went out to lunch with some friends at a very popular Houston breakfast place. Now, the boys had already eaten so as we stood in the long line to order I wasn't surprised that they claimed they weren't hungry and didn't want anything. Neither, however, was I surprised when Connor announced, literally as I took my first bit of food, "I'm hungry." I was prepared for this and had some toast to which I applied strawberry jam and all seemed well. Then he remonstrated me strongly for not giving him ketchup. Silly me. I didn't quite know what would happen when I did, but I should have guessed he would just happily pick up a glop of it with a corner of the toast as it went towards his mouth. Yum!

Jamie, meanwhile, had found a table knife and had begun slashing the salt and pepper shakers into submission. I came down on that pretty quickly so he turned his blade to his brother. He did at least give Connor a knife to protect himself. I came down on that to so then Jamie took Connor's ketchup-and-jam splattered crusts and began hacking them to crumbs. Good, good times.

Nature up close

2010-06-19T11:34:00.000-07:00

The boys and I have been to the Zoo a couple of times this week and it has been a real success. We used to go a lot but they seemed to have gotten a little bored of it, so it was nice that they were really into it again. We've been spending a lot of time at the reptile house, as the boys are into snakes these days. They also like the little frog displays because they can play find the frogs (Jamie finds more inevitably and Connor gets impatient). Today was rather intense since and we got there as they were feeding the black-headed python. We got to see it eat two mice whole, which is quite a thing. I wondered how the boys would react to this but they were very interested and not the lease bit disturbed. Jamie did feel a little sad for the mouse. But he offered a very pertinent fact to the group gathered around ("Some larger pythons can eat a whole deer!") and asked the zoo keeper relevant questions about the mice (turns out they get them frozen).

Then we went outside to have some snacks. Connor wanted to sit and watch the ducks so we found a shady spot and they turned their chairs around to face the lake and happily munched away on pretzels and goldfish. As we were walking towards the elephants Connor spotted a centipede on the ground. Jamie was immediately concerned that the little fellow would get stepped on so he plucked it right up and put it in his palm. A bond quickly formed. He giggled delightedly as the centipede crawled over his hand and up his arm, that unaffected bubbling laugh that is one of the best sounds in the world. He held onto to the little guy for the rest of our time there. When eventually we had to leave (it was 11:15 and we were going to expire from the heat), we agreed it was best to put the centipede on a nice bush. Jamie duly did so, and then turned around and hugged me, crying a little. He really liked that little guy.

Connorisms

2010-06-18T05:26:00.001-07:00

The boys talk pretty much non-stop. It's another thing about Sarah being gone. They sense there is only one pair of eardrums for their voices to reach so they are in considerable competition to make themselves heard. As with many other competitions, Jamie usually wins in the end. The two manage to make virtually everything, like walking from one room to another, into a race. Connor generally tries to do this retroactively, so that having gotten somewhere, or eaten something, or done anything really, he happily proclaims, "I won!!" This angers Jamie who insistently proclaims that it wasn't a race, but remembers it exactly, so the next time he makes sure to announce that it is a race, which, given an equal start, he invariably wins. Connor then collapses into tears.

Anyway, in the midst of all this Connor does manage to get a word in occasionally and he's got some very cute little sayings. One of my favorites is that in playing "I spy" he likes to say "I spy on my little eye..." He also likes to stand on the scale. The boys have been enjoying this as they like seeing when they have gained weight. When Connor wants to go weigh himself he says, "Let's go measure my feet!"

Missing mommy

2010-06-16T09:34:00.000-07:00

Well, the boys and are getting along OK without Sarah, but we all miss her. Jamie has been in something of a mommy phase lately so this came at a tough time for the little guy. But, as he gets older, he is a little more able to cope with the emotions directly. We talk a lot about what time it is in Cyprus (Houston +8 hours) and what Mommy might be doing. Every time we see a plane Jamie proclaims "That's Mommy's plane bringing her back to Houston!" as if by saying it he could make true. And he talks a lot about giving her hugs and kisses and telling her he loves her when she comes back. He's also excited, because as always he knows he will be due a present when a parent returns from abroad. But in the past this has at times seemed to eclipse the joy of seeing the parent. He himself now says that he's excited both for Sarah to come back and for the present.

Connor is a little less able to vocalize and is a bit pouty. He asks me when mommy's coming back and when I say 3 1/2 weeks he gets sulky and says, "That's too long!, giving me an angry look. It's the same look I get when it's raining and he doesn't like it, or when he doesn't like the position of the sun. Daddy can really be good for nothing sometimes.

More from Mr. Bossy

2010-06-07T14:15:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the things we say to the boys come back to haunt us. During the period when Connor was sick, he had some tummy issues that precipitated a bit of a regression in terms of the potty. This got a little frustrating for us because there were times when it seemed he was making no effort to get to the potty. When we would gently remonstrate him about this or betray some frustration, he would often answer that he had tried. Given that he evidently hadn’t, we sometimes told him to “try harder.”

So yesterday we’re walking home from the pool and Sarah asked him, as is often our wont, “Do you know how much I love you?” He gave the standard answer “So much,” a little wearily. Then he asked, “Why do you always ask that?” “Well,” Sarah said “because we love you so much.” Here Jamie chimes in with an eye-rolling, “We already know that.” Sensing she was being reproved, Sarah said “OK I’ll try not to ask that so often.” What was Connor's reply? “Try harder.”

Mr. Bossy

2010-06-04T12:37:00.000-07:00

Poor Connor has been suffering over the past couple of weeks from a variety of illnesses. He is only just now recovering from a series of ailments whose cause was much less certain than the symptoms. On the early side of this, I'm afraid some rather impressive vomiting was involved. I'll spare you all the ugly details, but suffice to say Connor has not quite learned to keep himself out of the way of his barf. Not pretty.

The second half of the illness featured a fever that spiked at a shade over 106! This happened while they were at the doctors office as a matter of fact and the nurses were rather impressed, though not as alarmed as one might have expected. What's curious about Connor when he's sick is that our normally laid back second child turns into something of a Napoleon. When they got the 106 reading the nurses brought in some cold towels to cool him down. One might well imagine that this would feel good, but Connor did not like it one bit. Screamed his head off in fact. When he had endured this for a while, Sarah asked nicely him he would like them to take the towels off. "No," he replied angrily, "I want you to throw them in the trash. Gotcha.

He had been promised a lollipop to make for the indignities of being poked and prodded. The doctor, in a misguided attempt to be nice came in at some point, however, with the offer of a popsicle. He first politely declined, but when she insisted it might feel good to have something cold he said firmly, "No!!! I want a lollipop! And I'm taking one home for my brother Jamie!!" She took the popsicle away. Finally, as things were wrapping up, the doctor, who was extremely gentle and kind with Connor, was doing a few last things. Connor beheld her with a steely gaze and then turned to Sarah and said, as if the doctor weren't there, "When she gets out of here can we go home." He did not find this as amusing as Sarah and the doc.

Tooth #2

2010-05-11T07:33:00.000-07:00

Jamie lost his second tooth a couple of days ago. It's his other front bottom tooth, and like the first one the permanent tooth, about twice as large, had already come up behind it. The baby tooth had been wobbly for quite a while, and this filled Jamie with pleasing anticipation of tooth fairy visits and dollar bills to come, but also periodically made him a little nervous. As before, we went back in forth about him wanting us to pull and being afraid, but in the end it just popped out. This time he kept a hold of it though so we put it in a little pouch under his pillow. Anticipation was high. The pouch had a little snap on it and that night before he went to bed, Jamie expressed some anxiety about whether she would be able to get it open, but we agreed the tooth fairy was strong and could handle it.

We're with alacrity!

2010-05-10T08:47:00.000-07:00

One of the ways Sarah and I spend a lot of our time is in "encouraging" the boys to do things they don't want to do: getting out of the door, getting into the car, getting into their car seats, going to the bathroom, washing their hands, getting their pajamas on, getting into bed...You get the idea. Pretty much anything we want them to do they drag their feet as much as possible.

You can well imagine that after pleading, begging, cajoling and bribing them to get a move on in a variety of ways we get a little punchy and begin seeking new ways of saying the same things. Now Sarah usually likes to needle me, not without good reason, for the way my sometimes esoteric word usage and over-elaborate sentence structure finds its way into the boys developing speech. In this case, however, it was all her. One day, exasperated while trying to get the boys out the door to school, she said, "Come ON boys! Let's move with alacrity!" She didn't think too much of it until the next day. As she again exhorted the boys to get moving Connor started off cheerfully and looked back and asked, "Am-am-am- I wiff....a-la-cri-teeee?!!!" Sarah almost fell over. Since then he continues to use his new word, when it suits him, to highlight his compliance, always pronouncing it carefully: "Look mommy! I-I-I'm doing a-la-cri-teee!"

Let's play chest!

2010-05-06T05:19:00.000-07:00

Jamie's latest obsession is chess. He's actually doing great with it. For once I am forcing him to play by the actual rules as opposed to the Jamie-always-wins rules Risk and Candyland we usually play, so I wasn't sure how he would react the very rigid rules about piece movement. As soon as we started playing, however, it was clear it would go well because he said, "Dad, is this like war?" Then before I could nuance a reply he said "I think it is, so I like it." He's actually picking up the rules pretty quickly, too. The only piece he really can't figure out is the knight. But he has some of the lingo down after watching the chess scene is Harry Potter, so he likes to refer to his "queen-side castle" whenever possible. This makes up for the fact that he is still working the name of the game out and often calls it "Chest."

It's funny watching him learn strategy. He's been very into Tic-Tac-Toe lately, but he is still totally unable to think in terms of defense. He plays straight ahead to win and doesn't try to block the other player. On the other hand, he's very into rock-paper-scissors and shows a sometimes spooky ability to guess what you are thinking and react accordingly. Of course sometimes he still waits to see what you play and assure himself victory.

Little drummer boy?

2010-05-05T07:53:00.000-07:00

So we are moving Jamie to a new school next year. This has been the subject of much hand-wringing over the past couple of years but we are really settled and comfortable. The school is right in the neighborhood and is great. The only issue is that it has a special music curriculum. We like this of course, but Jamie "doesn't care about that stuff." Really he couldn't be less interested in music, even Johnny Cash these days. I thought we might have had a little breakthrough recently, and maybe it will prove to be so. The boys and I were at home playing in the living room and listening to the Master and Commander soundtrack. There are are a number of pieces featuring big booming drums and Jamie perked up immediately and asked "Is this war music? I like those drums." I told it was indeed war music and now he officially likes it.

So later that day I told Sarah about this and we thought, aha! here's our chance to break the news to him about not going back to his current school, and to maybe get him enthused about the new place. So we told him he was going there and could perhaps learn to play the drums like that. He paused and said, "So I'm not going back to my school?!" "No?" we said hopefully. He immediately burst into very genuine tears and sobbed for about 5 minutes.

Of course at this point we both wanted to just say OK, never mind you can go back, but we managed to stifle the impulse and interestingly, he got over it fairly quickly and hasn't said a whole lot else about it since, except for the occasional negative comments about not liking music. We haven't even yet been able to tell him that his best buddy won't be there either so I think it may get easier in time. We've also been trying to play the "you'll get recess now" card, which is making some headway I think.

Drivin' and eatin'

2010-05-02T08:14:00.000-07:00

As you all know, anything related to food with Jamie can be a challenge. Occasionally, very occasionally, he can get an eating on him and just go crazy. Other times, if he's somehow distracted in a way that doesn't make him want to leave the table he can very easily polish off a meal before he's even aware that he's done it. I think it must be that he gets enough nutrition at these times to cover himself because the rest of the time he sure doesn't eat much. We've been working out for a while why this is because it's clear that all things being equal he doesn't actually dislike food, and I think a couple of things are in play. The main thing is that he simply doesn't want to sit there, when he could be doing something else more fun. Whatever hunger he has just generally isn't enough to overrule this impulse, at least for very long. He would be perfectly happy eating if we would let him bring the food to where ever he's playing, or even if it could stay at the table and he could come back and take a handful when he wanted. But no, we're mean parents, so we don't let him do that.

The other piece to the puzzle is that Jamie now proclaims his hunger every time we are about to get in the car. This has been on the increase lately and has really been confounding us. In part we can recognize it as just a time-honored delaying tactic, one also mobilized when it is bedtime of course. But I started to figure it out one night when he was refusing to eat a dinner that consisted of entirely foods that we know he likes. I asked him if we put it in a bowl and gave it to him in the car, if he would eat. Without hesitation he said, "Yes! All of it!" "Why?" I asked. I was impressed that he was then able to pretty much vocalize clearly that it was because when he's in the car he's sitting anyway, so he might as well eat, there be nothing better to do. This explains too, that when he waits until the moment we say it's time for bed to declare that he's STARVING, it's more than just delaying bedtime, it's acknowledging that he really is hungry and just doesn't have a more entertaining option.

Of girls and magma

2010-04-30T09:03:00.000-07:00

Perhaps one of our biggest regrets in removing Jamie from his current school is that there is a group of adorable little girls who seem totally smitten with him. We were at a birthday party at one of these bouncy-castle places a couple of weeks ago and one of the girls was there and spent the entire 2 hours chasing him and, when she caught him, tackling him. At first, he was happy to see her and they had a good time. Eventually though I think he began developing some personal space issues and started to run away. Whenever he gave her the slip, amidst the din and rancor of 30 bouncing kids you could hear "Jaaaaamiiiieeeee?!!!!" ringing out and the chase would be on.

Of course we always want him to be nicer to the girls too. Recently Sarah took the boys to a playground not too far from school and yet another adorable, slightly older girl from school was there. She is, in fact, the best friend of Jamie's best friend's older sister. We had always had the sense the they treated the boys with disdain, and probably much of the time they do, but in this case her face absolutely lit up when she saw Jamie. They circled each other for a bit, but when Jamie sat down to do some digging she came over with a big smile and said "Hi Jamie!!!!!" Sarah was fascinated, but Jamie only gruffly responded. She asked what he was doing and he said, without looking up, "Digging for magma." No offer of letting her help was made. Sarah wanted to tell him to stop digging and be nice, but at this point, Connor, perhaps sensing an opportunity, happily marched up and introduced himself. "Are you Jamie's brother?" she asked with another big smile and got a much more enthusiastic response from little C.